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Thirty Nine

Harry Styles

I'm four weeks clean today. Aubrey insisted on having me over to celebrate. I have nothing better to do since Ruby and Niall aren't coming for Christmas until tomorrow afternoon, the holiday being on Saturday. They're staying until New Years, so that'll be nice. I haven't seen Ruby in what feels like forever.

Aubrey texted me a little bit ago saying Jade was gone, tonight being their biweekly after therapy drinking session. I'm in my car nearing her house now, this drive beginning to feel far too familiar.

She hasn't told Jade about any of this yet. I don't even know what exactly she'll end up saying. She's too nervous to bring it up, needing to plan out what she's going to say beforehand. Zayn is fine with staying quiet about what him and Louis saw, but she feels bad about making him keep a secret. I just know Jade is going to want to murder me when she finds out, so I'm fine with the delay.

Zayn and Louis don't even know the whole truth. They've been teasing me about it nonstop since they caught us without even knowing the full story. They think what they walked in on was a one time thing, which it isn't. I don't know how this all started, really. It happened before I could fully comprehend it. All I know now is I don't want to stop.

I type in the code to get into her neighborhood, then drive down the road and pull into her driveway. I get out of my car and head to her door, knocking on it twice.

I hate how normal all of this feels.

"Come in!" I hear her through the wooden door.

I push it open since it's unlocked, Charlie bounding down the hallway at my entrance. He meows and looks like he's trying to climb up my pant leg, always so excited when I come here. I sit my keys down on her table by the door as I shut it, pulling my shoes off as well.

"Hi." I speak quietly to the animal, pushing him off of my leg so I can walk. I didn't do it in a mean way or anything, my hand rubbing his head a little before I stand up straight.

I did not just say hi to a cat.

I shake my head to myself, seeing Aubrey sitting on her couch when I walk through the hallway. I sit down next to her, seeing two full glasses of bourbon in her hands. Charlie sits on the armrest beside me, always following me around for whatever reason. I thought it was some weird phase he was going through, but he's still doing it.

"I made sure to drink slowly tonight so I could do this with you, so be grateful." She shoves one of the drinks into my hand.

"Do what, exactly?"

"Have a toast, duh. You're a month clean! That's big shit!" She raises her brows.

"Okay," I give in with a slight groan, allowing a bit of celebration for what I've managed to do with her help, "Go ahead, say what you wanna say."

She holds up her glass, signaling for me to do the same. She chuckles as she tries to think of something to say, finally deciding on the traditional lines of a toast after being unable to think of something more personal, "To Harry, and hopefully many more clean months."

She then clinks her glass with mine, bringing it to her lips and downing the whole thing before I even take in more than a sip. I widen my eyes and can't help but laugh at it a little, watching as she wipes her mouth and slouches back into the couch after sitting the now empty glass on the table.

I guzzle my drink quickly to keep up with her, hearing her giggling as she watches me struggle a bit with swallowing the burning liquid at high speed. I can handle alcohol, I just wasn't prepared to be drinking, let alone chugging, anything tonight.