Hard to Love (Bucky Barnes fanfic)

Chapter 25

The moment his name left my lips, my head was flooded with blurry images of him and I. Conversations, interactions, him looking down at me with those crystal blue eyes while talking. I couldn't hear what he was saying though, like I was watching a very out of focus movie with it on mute. I could almost feel the way he held me and the feel of smooth metal against my bare skin

I remember the way he made me feel. Safe, warm, happy, protected... it was all too much to take in at once for my fried brain. Wires seemed to zap together and I felt like I got hit over the head by a truck

His joyful hope filled expression quickly changes to one of concern as I let out a pained gasp and grab the side of my head. He started to reach his arm out in a comforting manner to steady me but stopped himself short, unsure if he should touch me and further my mental overload. I instinctively place my hand on his outstretched arm as I start to wobble, my vision becoming even more blurry and not caring about the overstimulation I receive from touching him

"Amelia?" His voice fills my ears and suddenly that's all I hear. Every memory of him saying my name now floods my brain. Him jokingly saying my name, humor lacing the single word, a serious tone, a sleepy grumbly tone, a worried tone, a... breathy more intimate tone

"I- I don't feel-" before I could finish stuttering out my words I feel my body and mind shut down. I crumble into him as my eyes flutter closed. His arms instantly wrap around me to hold me up

"Hey, hey I got ya. Stay with me doll." His velvety voice sounds far away, like he's in a tunnel, as I fully lose consciousness.

"How's she doing?" A male voice speaks, it sounded like I was underwater, everything warbly and muffled. But I recognize it to be Steve's voice. As the ringing in my ears slowly subside, I can finally hear more clearly. A faint beeping sound from a machine can be heard next to me to which I recognize as a heart rate monitor

"She's stable, Dr. Banner did everything he could to help with her memory loss and we've contacted Shuri to help further the progress. For now she needs a lot of rest." The presumed doctor responds before I hear a door close

I want to open my eyes and look at Steve, it feels like years since I've seen him, but my eyes stay glued shut. It's as if someone had sewn them closed. No matter how hard I tried to will them open, they wouldn't budge. I wanted to cry out for help but my mouth didn't want to work either. I'm stuck in almost a comatose state. I try as hard as I can to do something, anything, and let whoever's all in the room with me know that I'm awake but my body doesn't even flinch

Steve, please for the love of all gods, help me. Notice that I'm awake PLEASE

But all I hear is a heavy sigh from him followed by a couple of footsteps and the sound of him sitting in a chair. Silence filling the air, the only noise coming from my heart rate monitor, and I'm left alone with my thoughts. A dangerous thing honestly

But I start thinking of Steve and the memories of us come at me like a tidal wave. Though the memories were hazy, I could remember all the things we did together. Training, eating, laughing, and our serious talk on the roof all that time ago. It felt like a lifetime ago. Then I started to think of the last time I saw him. A building crumbling around us and a grenade landing in the rubble between us as him and Bucky ran towards me...

Tears stung my closed eyes at the memory. All this time they must've been so worried about me. I can only imagine the pain and suffering I've caused them. All because I wasn't strong enough to keep my powers up

I wasn't ready

A gentle knock on the door snaps me out of my pitiful thoughts, as I now focus on the newcomer