Hard to Love (Bucky Barnes fanfic)

Chapter 8

Updated 3/31/22

It's been two weeks since the meeting

Two excruciatingly long weeks

In those two weeks I've been training more with Wanda whenever she's at the compound. Nothing against Nat but I'd rather train with Wanda since our powers are, on some level, similar. She helps me to control myself better and challenges me where as Nat teaches more hand to hand combat

I've also been hanging out with Nat, Steve and Bucky in our down time. I think it's good for us. Bucky and I that is. We've all become a rather tight friend group and it was nice to see this side of Bucky. The playful, relaxed version. Seeing his eyes light up whenever him and Steve would joke about their antics from back in the day always made me smile. It was a wonderful feeling, see him so happy

But it's hard to act like nothing ever happened between us, especially when I enter a room and feel his eyes burning a hole in me. Or when we catch the other glancing at one another and he gives me that smug smirk. I just want to kiss the damn thing off of him. But that can't happen now

Or ever for that matter...

"Earth to Amelia, you there?" A finger snaps in front of my face, drawing me out of my spiraling self pity. I blink, putting my spoon of cereal down and look up to find Clint

"Sorry, what?" I ask. I hadn't even noticed I spaced out, let alone that someone was talking to me

"I said, are you going to be okay tonight? Nat and I are going on a mission, Tony's still gone, Banner's busy with his lab work and Sam is visiting an old buddy." He fixes his wrist guard while glancing at the clock

So what I'm hearing is, Amelia gets to be alone in the compound for an evening? Hell yeah

"Oh. Yeah I'll be fine. Probably just do some more training or something." I shrug, taking a bite of my now soggy cereal

"Why not take the night off of work stuff? Relax a little. You don't get many opportunities like this." I finish my cereal and stand to put the bowl in the sink

All I ever have are 'nights off'. Tony and Banner insist that I continue working on my powers, perfecting them until they deem me worthy enough to actually go on big assignments. The one I went on with Bucky only happened out of coincidence

It's bullshit honestly. Everyone else is spread thin on tasks. Whether it be busting a drug cartel, infiltrating compounds, rescuing hostages, or simply doing stakeouts. Even just press conferences, though I'm more than okay with sitting those out. How else am I going to get experience in the field to advance my skills if they won't let me?

"You know I'm not one to lounge around and be lazy like some people around here." I joke. He fakes hurt

"It comes with old age kiddo. But seriously, take the night off and do something fun." At those words, Steve and Bucky walk in the room. I have to hold myself back from looking in their direction

"Like what? Read a book I've already read? Sort my wardrobe? Take a hot bubble bath with some wine?"

That last one actually sounds quite lovely

He shrugs with a breathy chuckle, "whatever you want, as long as you enjoy yourself."

"Fine, I'll consider doing something fun, alright?" I offer a small giggle earning me a smirk from him

"You two," He points at the boys pulling them out of their own conversation and grabbing their attention, "make sure she doesn't do any work or training tonight."