Hard to Love (Bucky Barnes fanfic)

Chapter 6

Updated 3/31/21

I rub my temples after a long while of talking with Bucky. My headache slowly growing as I process all the information he's dropped on me. But with every answer he gives me, another question forms. It's almost like an endless cycle

At least he's answering them and not deflecting like last time

"So, hold on, you're telling me that you were acting like a complete jerk, pushing me away and making me feel insignificant to try and stop your feelings? For me?" I ask with furrowed brows. At this point they might as well be permanently apart of my face. Bucky sighs, his lips in a tight line as we look at one another

"Not the choice of words I'd use and not the best move I could've made. But essentially, yeah." Bucky leans towards me

"Even when I tried talking to you about your knife collection, something I know we both enjoy in a sense, you just-" I start but Bucky decides to interrupt

"Amelia," my voice sounds like liquid heaven coming from him and I hate how much I wish to hear him repeat it. "I didn't think-"

"That's an understatement of the century." I stifle a smirk. Bucky huffs in mild annoyance but continues

"I didn't think I was.. worthy to share anything like that with you." He pauses for a moment, listening to the words he just spoke. "That... sounds so much dumber out loud doesn't it?" His lips curl into a smile and I nod, emitting a quiet laugh

After my giggles subside, we just sort of stare at one another, reading the others body language. His was practically screaming for forgiveness and showing that he's submitting to me, knowing he deserves whatever I to throw at him

Bucky Barnes submitting? To ME? Oh it's like a wet dream come true

"You alright there doll?" Bucky smirks, giving me a once over look. His eyes twinkling with mischief

I cock my head slightly. "Yes? Did I do something to say otherwise?"

Suddenly his once cerulean eyes were now a dark cloudy blue. His pupils blown out from dilation. He darts his tongue out in that sexy way again, licking his bottom lip as he looked at me, trailing his eyes slowly down my neck

God he could ruin me just by sending me that look any time

Heat spreads throughout me as Buckys eyes devour me

"I can Uh.. smell you doll." His eyes flick back up to mine through his dark lashes

I fumble for words, his response clear as day on what he meant and I'm about ready to actually jump. But, I fight the urge and try to play it cool

"Stop giving me the 'fuck me' eyes then Buck."

"Why? Are they working?" A smug grin makes it way to his face

This cocky son of a bitch

"We're getting off topic." I state, switching back to our original conversation before I do something stupid

Bucky shrugs, "I've already said I'm sorry doll." He offers

"It's gonna take more than a single apology Bucky. You- you made me think you despised me when in fact, you actually like me?" I state in disbelief, turning it more into a question towards the end

All playful and flirty demeanor and tone was now long gone

I can see that he's sorry, that he messed up, and that he regrets his past actions. It's written all over his perfect dumb face. Doesn't change the fact that for the past few months he's been nothing but a jerk to me though