Hard to Love (Bucky Barnes fanfic)

Chapter 5

Updated 3/31/21

My lungs felt like they were filled with fire as I sucked in another desperate breath. I let out a small grunt as I block another one of Natashas kicks, grabbing her leg and throwing her across the mat with the help of a force push from my powers. She rolls a few times before catching herself

Both of us sweaty and gulping down air like we've been deprived of it. Strands of hair that got knocked lose from our hair ties clung to our sweat clad foreheads. I bend slightly over, resting my hands on my knees. My body was starting to shut down as it hasn't had much time to rest and recharge

"If I had known this is what was waiting for me, I would've sent Barton in my place instead. You're kicking my ass." She wheezes out a chuckle before slowly standing up

A small part of me wants to celebrates at her words since this is probably the best compliment one could receive from the infamous Natalia Alianovna Romanova. But the other part of me feels just a little bad for taking my rage out on her. She doesn't deserve it, nor does she know why I'm so angry. But, this is training. Within reason you're not supposed to hold back

"Sorry. I'll go easy this time." I speak once I feel like my lung weren't going to explode anymore and get ready for another round but Natasha shakes her head

"No need, I'm tapping out. You've improved since last time. Wanda finally taught you a thing or two." She gives me a playful smile as she nudges me with her elbow. I mimic her smile and let out a sigh in relief having let all my frustrations out in the past hour of being here

"Sounds good to me.." I huff, ready to collapse on the floor

"So I take it the mission went poorly?" She asks, stepping out of the training ring with me

I pause for a moment, raking over the thought of telling her what happened between The Winter Soldier and myself. It's an internal battle really, she's my closest friend, hell I could probably call her my best friend at this point, so I should be able to tell her anything. But at the same time I don't want to drag her into my worries and get her involved with something that most likely won't turn out to be of importance

As close of friends that we are, I've never told her about how Bucky's treated me before. She'd probably try to 'help' but end up making things worse and more awkward than they already are. The less people who know and are involved, especially now, the better. So there's no way in hell I can tell her about what happened on the jet

Natasha sees my hesitation, reading my somber expression like a book. She's practically an expert in reading my emotions at this point. But hey, that's the infamous Black Widow for ya

"Barnes is a difficult one to get along with. Took him months before he finally realized I was a friend, not a foe." She takes a sip from her water bottle, wiping away a stray drop from her chin

"Yeah? And how'd that happen?" I ask, not even thinking before speaking as I kicked off my gym shoes to put in my bag. I mentally curse myself for not having a filter. Now she knows things aren't okay between him and I

Natasha shrugs and I think for a moment that she didn't catch onto what I was implying but I see the way her head slightly twitches and I just know she's going to comment on it later. "Mainly thanks to Steve talking to him but I like to think it worked out on its own."

Ohohoho

There's absolutely no way I'm getting Steve involved in this either. How incredibly awkward would that conversation be? 'Hey Steve your best buddy made out with me but agreed with you that he can't stand me. Care to explain?' No thank you. Plus, I highly, highly, doubt he wants to know about his best friends love life