Twenty Seven- "I Can't Freakin Do This"

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When I lost my father, it was the breaking point

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When I lost my father, it was the breaking point.

Not the end, but the start of my downfall. I thought surely, I can't survive after this.

But, then I learn that my family became stronger in the face of adversities.

I have seen my mother broaden her shoulders and my sister become a link to lean on. We were close before, but now we were unbreakable.

They became more than my everything.

I thought that there is no way that I can lose them too.

So, when I sit here on the sofa staring at the black screen television with the news of my mother telling me that Raine was kidnapped, I wondered what did I do to God to deserve this.

Why was my family being picked off one by one?

What seeds did we sow? Because for every bad seed, I promise I would go over them with good.

I just didn't understand.

She was to work when the shooting happened. I was home, here, watching tv. The hysteria in her voice had me running to the door ready to come where ever she was, but she forbid me to move.

She said that it was going to be okay. I question her sanity on that.

Nothing about this sounded okay.

Nothing.

I can't say minutes went by or even an hour --I was too out of it to count before the door rang. Two persons stood on the porch. One I recognized and one I didn't.

It was Levi. He was standing there with a white suit on, obviously from the dance, but there was blood on his right shoulder. He also had a bandage around his head.

"Can we come in?" I pushed the door wider, stepping back. To stun to even protest as they walked past me into the house.

"We're waiting on your mother," the woman said as she sat Levi down in the seat and sat beside him. She was looking at him with so much concern I assumed that this had to be his mother.

"Where is she?" I asked, looking back outside. I didn't see her car pull up.

"She's at the school, but she'll be here soon. I am so sorry for what is happening right now"

I didn't understand why she was apologizing. She didn't walk into a school dance and decided to lit it up. She also had a child who was injured.

"They had someone working on the inside" Levi gritted. I slammed the door walking over to him. He was hunched over on the table. I could see the blood seeping through his bandage. 

"I know that. I just underestimated them." the woman whispered. She looked so regretful.

I begin to doubt my stance for taking up for her. Maybe she was guilty.

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