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"ℌ𝔬𝔤𝔤𝔶 ℌ𝔬𝔤𝔤𝔶 ℌ𝔬𝔤𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔱𝔰!"
Avril sung as she swung open the doors to the great hall which was currently serving dinner, everyone stopped eating and looked over at the white haired girl that was causing the commotion. "Rawr."
"Avril!" Ernie called for girl.
"Monkey!" Avril ran over to the Hufflepuff table and tackled Ernie to the ground. "Lovie, I missed you so so so much!"
"Five points from Hufflepuff." Snape sneered as he stopped in front of the boy and girl who were on the ground. "Baudelaire get off of Macmillan."
"But he likes it."
"Now!"
"You're no fun Sev! How come I'm allowed to do that to you but-
"Detention tomorrow at six o'clock, Baudelaire." Snape scowled as he turned around sharply; his robes whipping Avril's face, and walked back up to the head table.
"What's his deal?" Ernie questioned as the two sat down beside each other.
"Well last time we had a date I shoved my wand up his arse, soooo it might still be stuck up there."
"Makes sense." he chuckled.
"Hey, Avril." Justin smiled at the girl as he sat down across from her. "How was your holiday?"
"Hello Justin Finch-Fletchey. My holiday was quite splendid, I spent time with my favorite scarhead." Avril turned around to face the Gryffindor table to see Harry already staring at her, she blew a kiss and drew a heart.
"Are you and Potter, you know together?" Ernie asked.
"Absolutely not! How many times have I told you my heart belongs to Snivellus." Avril shook her head and rolled her eyes.
"Right right, sorry I forgot." he raised his hands up in defense.
"Monkey!"
"What!" Ernie asked startled.
"I can't wait for you to meet Minnie! Oh you're just gonna love her, she's the sweetest little creature." Avril beamed.
"Minnie?" Justin asked.
"Yes yes, Minnie. Pottyhead gifted me a wonderful Kitten for ze birthday and she's just absolutely darling!"
"A kitten?" Ernie asked feeling a little nervous at the thought of Avril having another creature.
"Yes, Monkey a kitten."
"That's...that's nice."
"Indeed it is my love." Avril smiled as she wrapped her arm around his shoulder and swayed. "You're going to love her, I just know it!"
"I'm sure." Ernie nodded with a small smile.
"Baudelaire." McGonagall called for the girl as she strode towards her."There is a kitten which is rumored to be yours, attacking Severus. Please remove it."
"Oh yes it's just Minnie showing her love and affection to Snapey." she shrugged.
"Baudelaire!"
"Fine fine." Avril clapped Ernie's shoulder before skipping towards the head table and stopping in front of a scowling Snape as he swung his arm around trying to release the kitten. "Minnie my love!" She picked up the creature which claws were attached to his robes. "That's my job."
"BAUDELAIRE! CONTROL THAT BEAST." Snape looked beyond enraged, Avril casted him a charming smile as she swayed.
"We all know you're the beast, Sev." She winked. "If you know what I mean."
"Detention for the rest of the week. Now leave."
"Poopy. Bye, my beloved husband!" Avril waved at the enraged Snape as she skipped back to the Hufflepuff table with Minnie in arms sporting a scarf littered with ancient diamonds wrapped around her furry head.
"Is this the so called darling Minnie?" Ernie chuckled as he pet the black fluffy kitten.
"Look at her! She learned everything from moi, her mummy." Avril lifted her in the air. "Isn't that right Minniekins, showing your love to Snivellus."
"Detention for the rest of the week with Snape, your in for one long week." Justin said.
"I don't mind, that just means more time to spend with my love. Maybe we can figure out the little quarrels we have, and our pure marriage will be restored. Right Monkey?"
"Right."
"Oh, how was your birthday?" Justin questioned as he took a sip of pumpkin juice.
Avril fed Minnie a piece of pie as she spoke. "It was quite lovely, I spent it with my favorite red heads! And well Hermione Jean Granger and Potty, so yes it was quite lovely." she pouted. "Although I wish Monkey was there to celebrate my fifteenth with moi."
"Well your gift is in my dorm, I'll give it to you after dinner." Ernie said.
"Love, you didn't have to gift me anything."
"It's not everyday your maniac best friend turns fifteen." He smiled.
"Fifteen is boring, I was expecting to be pooping glitter by now." Avril slumped in her seat.
"Weirdo."
"Hey! Aberforth told me by the age of fifteen I would be pooping golden glitter! He's a pesky little liar, that old man is. I've been forcing myself to poop everyday and there's not glitter, it's just plain old boring caca."
Ernie looked at her strangely. "When did he tell you that?"
"Well technically he didn't tell me, dream Aberforth told me alongside Bellatrix. It was the night of my concussion and they both wore beautifully long togas and golden crowns with diamonds that held a picture of my face, I was waving to my beloved fans." Avril looked up at the two boys who stared at her as if she had grown three heads. "What it's not weird, it's completely and totally normal."
"Avril, normal for you is having a tea party with a herd of dragons." Ernie said.
