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Taeyong looks out the window, taking in all the familiar scenery that he had been deprived of for a week and more. He admired the colours of the flowers, the bright greens, the clear sky and the warmth of the sun hitting his face.
"I can't wait to go home," Taeyong smiles to himself,
They pull up by the front porch of Johnny's house and Taeyong's heart clenches up in excitement. He looks over at Yuta, "Thanks for the ride,"
"I'll be going, okay?" Yuta unlocks the car door for Taeyong, "Call me if anything happens," He smiles.
"Okay!" Taeyong quickly pecks the other. "Love you," He hops out of the car and waves at Yuta as he rides off.
He turns towards the house, skipping in his steps as he knocks on the door. "Johnny! I'm home!"
He hears rattling, steps rushing down the house and finally, the door is thrown open. He and Johnny meets eyes,
Johnny is a mess, he looks sleep deprived. He adjusted the glasses, squinting at the harsh sunlight that suddenly rushed into him. He finally realises Taeyong standing there,
He doesn't hesitate to hold him. "Where have you been?" He asked, squeezing him. "I was so worried," He felt the first tear tickling his cheek, "I was so worried," He wheezed, letting out all his relief in his pool of tears.
Taeyong hugs him, "I'm sorry," He pats Johnny's back as he cries. "I'm really sorry,"
"Where have you been?" Johnny pulls away, running his hands through Taeyong's hair. He scans the other and notices the bandages wrapping his left hand, "You're hurt," He gently takes Taeyong's hand into his. "Why are you hurt? You should've-"
He lets out a shaky breath, dropping his head onto Taeyong's shoulder. "You should've been more careful,"
"I'm sorry," Taeyong looks behind Johnny to see the house pitch black, take out cans of energy drinks laid on the floor. It makes Taeyong's heart heavier, "The house looks awful," He chuckles, even if he tried to hold it.
Johnny breaks into a smile, he turns behind him. "Yeah," He looks at Taeyong, "Come in, please."
Taeyong enters the house, "Where's Hyuck?" He picks up the cans on the floor.
"Taeil, I didn't want him to see me like this," Johnny adjusted his glasses again. He didn't know why, it was only then he realised how much of a mess the house had been. When was the last time he drew the curtains? What did he even have for dinner last night?
Taeyong drew the curtains, letting sunlight pour into the house. He smiles to himself as he bathes in the warmth, "This is nice,"
Johnny stands there, his heart did a flip. He watches as Taeyong smiles to himself. He is reminded of all the reasons he fell for the other, and is still in love with him.
He wanted to spend his life with Taeyong. He wanted to be able to hold him to sleep then wake up to his sweet smile. He wanted to be able to call Taeyong his. He wanted to be able to press his lips on Taeyong's, fit his hand into Taeyong's.
When Taeyong disappeared, he felt a huge part of his world crumble. He was so tired. He doesn't know how long he could do this to himself. He doesn't even know why he's still doing this to himself.
He loved every inch of the other so much. He can't help but feel a weight in his chest, realising that he lost. He hated it. He just wanted to give up, lose all hope and yet, when Taeyong is gone, Johnny feels he is gone too.
He needed Taeyong so much, he was living off him like oxygen. He hated it so much, he wanted to give up already.
Yet, he can't imagine a life without Taeyong.
"I wish you knew," Johnny said, his voice shaky.
"Hm?" Taeyong hummed, snapping out of his daze. He tilted his head, "Know what?"
"I wish you knew.." Johnny stopped. He felt tears racing down his cheeks, he then realises what he was saying. He can't tell Taeyong. That would be too selfish of him.
He smiles, "How worried I was,"
Taeyong walks over to Johnny and holds him. "I'm sorry,"
Johnny didn't want this. He doesn't want to feel Taeyong's warmth, he doesn't want the younger in his arms, he doesn't want Taeyong to tell him all these precious words. He doesn't want any of this anymore.
How much longer will Taeyong torment him this way? How much longer will he let Taeyong keep him enslaved? How much longer will he do this to himself?
Johnny finds his hands holding Taeyong's small figure, he buries his face into the crook of Taeyong's neck.
