hammer to the head

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i miss zouis🥺🤚

uhm anyways on with the story:)

TW// self harm, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, abuse, depression

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LOUIS' POV:

we landed back in donny about four days ago. which means its the seventh of february, one week till valentines day.

so clearly i have to start planning something, its gotta be big too.

and yes i did spend way too much money on his birthday presents but he deserves it, everything. he has helped me through so much i dont even know how to thank him.

i mean even if i wasnt such a mess he would still deserve it all. he deserves the world, he deserves happiness.

anyways, today is the day harry is finally moving in with me. yeah it was only three weeks living without him but i hated waking up without him wrapped in my arms.

"lou i cant find my jack wills hoodie"

"which one?"

"the purple one, my favourite one" he sighed walking out of our room sitting down on the sofa. "i think i left it back at my house"

"you didnt" i smiled.

"what do you mean?"

"baby, i stole it from you like a month ago" i let out a light laugh. i got up to go get it until he dragged me back down to the couch tickling the fuck out of me.

"h-haz... p-lease stopppp" i cried trying not to laugh. no reply, he kept tickling my sides. "ha-rry"

i looked at him, i could hear his beautiful laugh over lap with mine. his laugh is a sound you could never get tired of. "okay i'll stop" he laughed pepper kissing my face.

he reached my lips but decided not to kiss back, which was really hard to do. "heyyy" harry pouted.

"hay is for horses" i replied slipping out if his embrace, i ran into our room scanning my side of the closest for his hoodie. "here curly" i grinned coming back into the living area with the hoodie draped over my body.

he looked up from his phone, a giant smile spread across his face. he didnt say a word instead lifted me up off the ground, hugging me tightly, spinning me around. "you are so fucking adorable" he giggled putting me back down.

"i love you"

"i love you too lou"

"im gonna visit mum today" i said ruining the mood.

"thats alright, you taking the girls with you?"

"pheebs and dais"

he nodded wrapping his arms around me lifting up placing me on the counter top. "im gonna make dinner, any special requests for when you come back?"

food... food makes you healthy... food has fat in it, food makes you fat. thats what you are, fat. fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fa-

"louis, those voices in your head dont know shit okay?" i snapped back to reality after hearing harrys voice.

"its hard haz" i forced myself not to look in his eyes.

he kissed my forehead, then resting his forehead against mine. "i know it is, trust me i do and im always going to be here baby"

"but what if i purge again and you start hating me and you leave?"

you mean if he finds- i cut off my thought

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