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TW// self harm, depression, abuse, suicidal thoughts, self harm

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LOUIS' POV:

"it finally happened?" lottie almost screamed in the car.

"yes, now calm down before i burst an ear drum jeez" i laughed out with a smile.

"where are we this looks familiar?" she asks as i got off the main road

"just wait and see"

she huffed out a fine. "soooo how long has it been?"

"only two days lotts"

"aww its so new- wait louis..." she stopped talking and looked at our surroundings. she didnt say a word until i parked. "come on get out" i told her opened her car door.

she hesitated but finally got out. i opened the gate and walked up the gravel path. "say hi" i told her as we reached my spot. "thank you louis" she spoke softly giving me a hug. i hugged her back tightly not letting go.

"god crazy to think its been just over three years" she spoke looking at the gravestone.

"i know, i wouldve brought you here the seventh but exams"

"its alright, um how often do you come here?"

"every saturday" i looked at her "sometimes other days when i dont work"

"fucking hell, t-this is wh-ere you come?" she started to choke on her words, lips wobbling. "and all this time-i thought you we-re o-out partying" tears starting to pool in her eyes.

"lotts, its okay. i know what it looked like but now you know" i tried reassuring her

"how! louis im so sorry. i-i thought you-"

"i know i know" i tried calming her down bringing her into another hug. "i forgave you a while ago okay?" she nodded.

"louis? lottie?" a voice spoke. we both hesitated to turn around since last time this happened troy ended up here.

"dad?" lottie said barely a whisper. she ran over to hug him completely forgetting everything he has ever done.

"hi mark" i finally spoke, not giving him anything more. he literally just left, we havent seen him since september.

to be fair he did look much better. he didnt smell like alcohol, he was clean shaven, looked happier. he just looked clean.

"what- um, what are you doing here?" lottie asked trying to make this less awkward than it already was.

"i usually come here once a months, its uh its been a few months though"

clearly

"louis um, can i talk to you? a-alone" he finally mustered out. i looked at lottie to see if i could stay but her eyes insisted i go with him. "sure" i finally spoke.

we walked in silence back down the gravel path and sat down onto one of the benches.

doesnt smell like alcohol this time i thought to myself

"um yeah im actually two months sober" he said. i looked up at him "you sort of said that out loud"

"oh, oops" i said. "well congrats" i gave him an awkward pat on the shoulder.

"listen louis, im sorry" he said "i know its not going to cut it, after all i did but i really am"

"mark i-"

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