consequences// 5SOS

20

Kaykay

"You paged? Where is Izz?"

"She is being admitted,"

"Did she stop breathing again?"

"No, but I'm scared she is close to it if we don't take action now," Ashton said, gently kissing me, "She will be okay, I just want her to rest and get oxygen,"

"Okay. Can she return on the weekends?"

"I will see how that goes,"

"My heart breaks for her," I said, my voice cracking. Watching the person most important to you deteriorate infront of your eyes was the worst pain. Not only was Izz physically suffering, she was mentally suffering. Not just from the experience of having cancer, but from everything our shitty parents put us through.

And she was trapped in such an unsupportive household for so long.

Ash and I did the bare minimum for her really, especially considering she was sick. We fed her, gave her a home, and showed her love. I was afraid that when she was in the time where she needed us most, she would push us away and believe we were overdoing it, or that she was a burden.

After her surgery we were both taking time off because she was going to need every ounce of attention we could give her. All I could hope was that she didn't reject it.

"Hey," he said, "Look at me,"

I found his eyes, staring into the abyss of every pure and beautiful emotion. That's mostly what Ash consisted of.

Towards the start of our relationship there had been some turmoil. Healthy relationships weren't something I had been exposed to, and I had a really hard time accepting that someone cared for me.

And he must've cared a lot, because he always bounced back. He claims he knew it was deeper than how I made out, because we were soulmates, but I felt like he was just too in love with me to accept no. Either way, it worked out.

He gave me my youth back. He gave me hope, and determination. When I was- and am- around him, it's like a weight from my shoulder disappears.

"She will be okay. Last time I saw her she was sleeping soundly, like a little baby,"

"I'm so worried, Ash,"

"I know,"

"I want her to have the surgery now. Today,"

"That's not the best idea, remember? And it will be a long surgery, Luke and Sierra will already be tired, her body is exhausted,"

"But she can't breathe,"

"She can, I would just prefer her to have assistance. You can come and see her if you'd like?"

"Please,"

He took my hand and we walked round the hospital, up to the kids ward. If one came past in a wheelchair, I gave them a high five, then we entered Isabelle's room and quietly shut the door.

When she was sleeping, she seemed so peaceful. So at ease, and so young.

Her oxygen mask sat awkwardly on her feeding tube, and the duvet was kicked off despite the cold, but I laid it back on her and bit my lip.

"I love you, a lot. I know after 8 years this is weird, but I am grateful,"

"She looks so peaceful," Ashton said, "I wish I could take some of her anxiety,"

"I know. Talking about emotions is definitely not her strong point either;"

"She doesn't know how!"

I looked down as she rubbed her eyes, slowly opening them. When she saw me, I smiled and rubbed her arm, gently removing her hand that was on the oxygen mask.