consequences// 5SOS

43

Isabelle

"You are so brave,"

"And you are such a dick. Don't do it again,"

"I didn't mean to upset you, Izz. Kaykay and I have been arguing, and she is still in a lot of pain, so I wanted to be there for her. I knew my friends would take good care of you,"

"When I came to visit you just sent me away," I said, my voice cracking, "To get scanned and prodded even more,"

"You need scans, and labs taken. We are monitoring you extremely closely now,"

"I just want to see Kay, and I wanted to see you. Now I don't know anymore,"

"I love you," he snapped, "I love you so much. I am just as confused as you about why, but that doesn't matter. You mean so much to me, I never wanted to hurt you, but my wife needed me. You have a support system full of so many people,"-

"They are her support system too,"

"Yes but we lost our baby. We lost our baby and needed some time together to process that. But you are ours too, and I cannot lose you too,"

"They said I am not gonna die,"

"I don't mean physically," he said, wiping his tears, "I mean our bond. Most of all, I don't want Kaykay to lose her sister because she thinks her sister's husband is purposefully ignoring her,"

"Was it really her choice for you to not be my doctor?"

"Yeah, she made it very clear. But I am gonna support you every step of the way, and help Lewis if he needs,"

"Okay,"

"Kaykay is gonna come home tonight. I need you to be honest with me right now, okay?"

"Okay,"

"Are you in a position where you can care for yourself, because I cannot care for both of you adequately. She is still cramping, and her burns are fresh,"

"Probably not,"

"Okay. Luke has offered to stay with you tonight, and I am taking Kaykay home. That is really mature of you, so thank you,"

"I never said I was happy about it,"

"I never said that either," he said, wiggling his eyebrows, "As long as you know I am proud of you, and I love you,"

"I know,"

"I really hope you feel better soon darling. I will visit again tomorrow, and we can call,"

"Can you stay until I fall asleep?"

"Are you gonna have a nap?"

"Yeah," I yawned.

"How much pain are you in?"

"A lot. My mouth hurts. My whole torso still hurts. My heart hurts. My throat hurts. My body aches,"

"I am sorry, baby,"

"I am used to it,"

"You've been really active considering it all, which is good. I might talk to Lewis about compression on your legs though, if your body is taking it slow,"

"I just don't want any more needles,"

"You'll get there in the end,"

He took my beanie off and then gently put his hand on my head, brushing his thumb back and forth as I tried to sleep. It was good to have him back.

When I woke up next, he was gone. I was alone in the room, so I yawned and rubbed my eyes. Slowly, I stood and went to the toilet, then looked at myself in the mirror which I tended not to do anymore. I looked so sick.

Carefully, I lifted up my sweatshirt and looked down at the huge plaster on my stomach, peeling it off to take a look at the incision. It didn't look very healed at all.

I jumped as someone knocked on the door, then unlocked it and opened it, Luke on the other side.

"What are you up to?"

"I wanted to look. It hasn't healed,"

"Let me take look,"

He put his night bag down and then washed his hands and put on gloves. As he peeled the dressing off, I held my sweatshirt up and looked.

"I see what you mean, but your body is extremely vulnerable, and weak, so healing an incision like this is very difficult. Try not to peel the dressing off again, okay? It makes it more risky,"

"Okay,"

"Anyway, what do you fancy doing tonight?"

"I just want to sleep,"

"I don't blame you. How about we do some walking, get you food, and then you can sleep,"

"Okay. May I try solid food?"

"You can. We will order it before we walk,"

"Nothing big,"

"A sandwich?"

"Yeah," I said, "Please,"

He made the order and then helped me up, giving me a walker which made things easier for sure. We went at my pace to the end of the hall and back, then I got back in bed and took deep breaths, having a drink.

"What's wrong with me?"

"You are sick, sweetheart,"

"Yesterday I managed,"

"Yesterday you had the adrenaline of wanting to desperately see Kay," he said, "It's okay to need a slow day,"

"I can't breathe,"

"You can,"

"I can't,"

"Look at me," he said, "You can. We are gonna breathe together,"

I grabbed his hand and watched his breathing, trying to mimic it. Every time this happened, I was petrified of passing out and never breathing again.

"Luke, I can't,"

"Lay back then," he said, putting the oxygen mask on my face, "We need to start working on calming your breathing down,"

"I don't wanna pass out,"

"You will not pass out,"

He looked me dead in the eyes and I nodded, watching someone bring my sandwich in. They gave me a sympathetic smile and then left, Luke putting the tray on my lap.

"Now, shall we try a bite to eat?"

"I want Kaykay," I said, taking the mask off, "Please,"

"She has gone home with Ash,"

"I feel like I haven't seen her much more than I have seen all of you, and I am still not used to living over here,"

"That's understandable, but you will see her soon, okay?"

I sat up and dried my eyes, picking up the sandwich infront of me. Slowly, I took a bite, swallowing it. My throat felt irritated, and it hurt my ulcers like a bitch, but it was solid food and I was so desperate to have some.

Luke kept encouraging me as I ate half the sandwich, then I pushed it away and shook my head.

"I can't do it anymore,"

"You did so amazing," he said. "I hope your are proud of yourself,"

"Are you still gonna use my feeding tube?"

"Not if you're too full princess, that would mean a stomach ache,"

"I want to see Kaykay,"

"You will see her soon, okay? We will figure this out,"