consequences// 5SOS

32

Kaykay

Watching Isabelle grieve was the worst thing I had gone through by far.

As sunday had progressed, she got quieter and quieter, and eventually stopped speaking. All she did was stare ahead and tear up every so often, letting Ash or I wipe her tears.

Bu Sunday evening, she had even began to fight the food Ash was giving through her tube, physically abusing him.

So I made the decision to bring her home for a few days. I grabbed the bag that was yet to be unpacked and signed her out of hospital for the next few nights.

She seemed satisfied with the decision, but still didn't speak.

"When you get home you can have a bath, and then you are gonna let Ashton feed you,"

She grunted and kicked my seat which I ignored for now. I felt that getting angry would do no good.

We arrived back home and her shoulders stopped hunching, her jaw relaxing. I led her upstairs and helped her run a bubble bath, also covering her picc line before leaving her in peace.

Ash and I changed her bed covers and I put a hot water bottle in there for her, closing her blinds most of the way.

Then, we went downstairs and made ourselves soup and some buns, closely listening to her upstairs. I couldn't hear her singing or humming, but nor could I hear her crying.

"What if she doesn't eat, Ash?"

"She will,"

"But what if,"- "Unfortunately she has no choice. You are welcome to cuddle her, and read to her or whatever, but she will be getting fed. She is hungry,"

"It doesn't seem like it,"

"Her body needs it,"

"I don't wanna end up arguing again, Ash,"

"Why would we argue?"

"We did last time,"

He wrapped his arms round me and kissed my head, shaking his own.

"It won't happen again, we know to listen. If you need space then I will stay with Cal,"

"Don't go. Even after the worst argument in the world,"

"Space can be good, you know? Some couples don't even sleep in the same room,"

"You want space?"

"No, but I am saying if it ever came down to it, it isn't necessarily bad,"

We heard her get out the bath and cleared up out pots, Ash agreeing to stay downstairs for 10 minutes while I spoke to Izz.

I walked in while she was climbing into bed, and she pat the space beside her; I sat there and hugged her, kissing her head.

"I am happy to have you home for a few days to be with us. We are staying home,"

Contently, she rested her head on my shoulder.

"If you used your words it might be easier for us to understand your pain, and help,"

I felt her shake her head and sighed, kissing her head. Thankfully, her body felt a lot less swollen, and appeared to be less sore based upon her movements, so I knew she was recovering.

"I lost a friend. It was quite a few years ago, but they died in a car accident. They got rushed in and all of us interns started working, only to realise she was one of us. Losing someone is hard, I understand. I didn't know what to say, I couldn't take care of myself, I almost quit my job. However, Ash was there, and my friends were there. It gets better. You have Ash, and my friends, and your friends who both understand the pain you're feeling,"

She choked out a sob and I shut my eyes, rubbing her arm. I was grateful to hold her.

"Now, we cannot afford you to go into this slump. You need to let Ashton feed you, and keep showering and brushing your teeth, and you have to sleep well. I don't want to lose you,"

Ash knocked on the door and she looked at him, reaching up. Relief flooding through him, he hugged her so tightly I thought she might pop. The pair of them got along so well.

In the end, she let him sit beside her and feed her, then I put the tv on and we all watched it together.

Our home felt like home again.

"Kaykay?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you sleep in here tonight? please,"

"Of course, baby. Are you getting tired?"

"Yeah,"

"Go and brush your teeth then,"

When she got up, Ashton shuffled towards me and kissed me, brushing the hair out of my face. I craved his touch so badly, but I knew Izz desperately needed sleep.

I held him tight to my body and he kissed my cheek, smiling at me teasingly.

"Sleepover with your sister,"

"Shut up," I giggled, "You have to sleep alone,"

"Yeah, I can spread out like a starfish,"

I hit him with a pillow and he gasped, hitting me back. We were kids at heart, but Isabelle coming into the room ended our fight.

She readjusted her pillow and laid down, Ash wishing her goodnight. Then, I changed into pyjamas and climbed in beside her, letting her fall asleep in my side.

It didn't take long at all, and based on how I'd slept lately, I fell asleep quite quickly too.

In the morning, I woke up when she got up to go to the bathroom, and checked my phone to see Crystal and Sierra had spammed my messages with lots of heartwarming things. This whole thing had pulled me away from my friends, so I was glad they were still appreciating and talking to me.

I went to my room and changed into joggers and a sweatshirt then went back to help Isabelle downstairs. She was clingy, and pushed herself into my side, following me to the kitchen.

"Good morning beautiful, and Kaykay," Ash said, making her laugh, "Kidding, I am kidding. Where do you want to be fed?"

"On the hammock,"

"I thought so, I'll be there in a second,"

She walked over with a small bounce in her step and I smiled, kissing Ash. Both of us had slept well, and I was in a fairly confident mood.

"I missed hugging,"

"Awh,"

"I need cuddles soon,"

"And so does my sick little sister,"

He pouted and grabbed her feeding equipment, joining her by the hammock. I made myself some cereal and joined them, passing her a blanket.

"Will I see Aimee and Iza tomorrow?"

"Yeah, we are going to get you all in a private space to talk. Whether that's about Rudy is your choice,"

"We all took a photo together, on the last night... I want it,"

"We will find it. Do you want to go to school again on Wednesday?"

"Yeah, but I don't want to be fed in there,"

"Noted,"

"Thanks for listening to my opinion. I thought you would be a bit annoyed I had come into your home,"

"Not at all, neither of us were," he told her, "We are very grateful, especially now, to have you in our lives,"