In Flames // 9-1-1 Fox (seasons 1-4)

fifty-eight

Eddie gingerly stepped down from his truck, waving off Mariana's fretting. She quickly grabbed their bags from the back seat and helped him into the house. Carla must have heard the lock click because despite it being midnight, she was ready to greet them at the door.

"Are you okay?" she asked the second she saw Eddie.

"A little banged up and I think I might have mud in my ears for the next year, but I'll be okay. Is Christopher asleep?"

"Yes. I made sure he didn't see the news at all."

Eddie offered her a quiet thank you before slowly making his way towards Christopher's room. Mariana dropped their bags off next to the door and kicked off her shoes before pulling Carla in for a tight hug.

"Thank you so much. Go home, be with your family. You deserve the world, Carla."

"As do you, honey. You both do."

Mariana made sure the doors were locked and porch lights were off once Carla drove away. She quietly made her way to Christopher's room where she found Eddie seated next to his son's bed. He watched the steady rise and fall of Christopher's chest, only looking up when he heard her come in. Mariana pushed away from the door frame and approached him with her hand outstretched. He squeezed her hand and pressed it to his lips as she sat next to him.

"We can stay as long as you need," she whispered, leaning her head against his shoulder. They stayed like that until one in the morning, tracing shapes along each other's wrists. He shakily stood and she wordlessly held his hand and led him to their bedroom.

"Sit," she soothed. Exhaustion clung to him but he couldn't sleep. He knew he would have nightmares tonight. Mariana stripped him out of his clothes and into his usual boxers and t-shirt before she pulled the covers back and helped him lay down.

Eddie watched as she quickly stripped out of the clothes she had thrown on at the fire station before they left. She purposefully grabbed one of his old high school shirts, slipping it over her head so "DIAZ" settled right in between her shoulder blades. She turned her head to look at him over her shoulder.

"Do you need anything while I'm up?" she asked, her voice soft and light. He shook his head and merely opened his arms which she took as an invitation to stride towards the bed and slide in next to him, curling her arms around his body and pulling him into a tight embrace. He pressed his face into the crook of her neck as she held him, her hand rubbing circles into his back.

"What are you thinking about?" she hummed.

"A lot. Nothing. I don't know," he grunted. "Can we keep the lights on tonight?"

"Of course. Anything you need and we'll do it," she assured him.

He didn't know how long they laid there but he knew he couldn't fall asleep. His mind was running a mile a minute and nothing was slowing it down. Every time he closed his eyes, he was in Afghanistan or he was back in that tunnel and desperately clawing at the mud to get back to his son and his love. As if she could sense his emotions, Mariana switched from rubbing his back to scratching his head, something that usually helps him calm down.

"I know you've been having nightmares," she whispered. "You try to hide them because you think I'm asleep. I share a bed with you, Eddie. I know when you leave and come back. I kept waiting for you to talk to me about it because I understand what you're thinking. I can't keep pretending you're fine. Please talk to me."

His hands clutched at her like she was the last thing tethering him to this world. She pressed a kiss to his forehead and stroked her hand over his head. Like a wave crashing into him, Eddie felt upside down and rightside up all at the same time. He opened his mouth to speak and a strangled gasp instead ripped past his lungs. He shuddered against her and she said nothing as hot tears soaked her shirt.