In Flames // 9-1-1 Fox (seasons 1-4)

eighty

Buck offered to drive the truck back from the house fire since Mariana was practically falling asleep standing up. As soon as they were back at the house, Eddie helped his wife out of the truck and slid her turnout coat off of her shoulders. She let out a soft grunt of discontent and he shook his head, working on her suspenders next.

"You're exhausted, mariposa. Go hit the bunks. I'll hang your gear up," he explained. She murmured out a thanks and headed towards the stairs. She had to be half asleep if she wasn't even fighting him. He made sure to hang her gear up in the way she always did it to make it more time efficient.

Heading upstairs, Eddie found Bobby seated at the table with a laptop open in front of him. The captain waved him over and pointed at the photo on the screen. "This is the 147."

"I don't see him in here. His turnout said Harmon," Eddie said.

"Yeah, well, that's Aaron Harmon right there." He pointed to a man that was clearly not the guy Eddie saw at the scene.

"Definitely not the guy." The younger man sat down across from Bobby. "He said his name was Brian. You think he was a fake?"

"It happens. Sometimes they're criminals. They use it as a ruse to get inside people's homes."

"I don't think that's what this one is. He seemed to want to help. I mean, it's bad, but it's not-"

"It's worse. They're not trained. They could wind up doing more harm than help."

"Said all he ever wanted to be was a firefighter." Eddie leaned back in the chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yeah, sometimes there are those guys. Try out for every class, never make it, never give up."

"You gotta admire the perseverance."

"I do, and their dedication. But I also feel sorry for them. They're so focused on what they don't have that they miss the chance to have something else. Something right in front of them."

Eddie looked up at his captain and sighed as Bobby continued. "Sometimes, you gotta move on and stop worrying about making the same mistakes."

"You caught that." It wasn't a question, but a statement. "Of course you did, you understand better than anyone."

"That's why I'm saying it to you," Bobby told him, a firm but fatherly tone overtaking his words. "Because I know what it's like to be stuck inside the worst moment of your life... to be afraid to hope, to try again. And then you get that chance and every moment you're worried about messing it all up again."

"I look at Mari and I see all the times I messed up. I look at her and...I see her leaving. I'm not over Shannon's death."

"And you never will be. She was your first wife and you will always miss her. You can grieve Shannon and still love Mariana. She will understand. And I know what you're thinking. You think because you messed up once, you're going to be a bad husband always. You can't let that fear stop you. I've seen the way you take care of Mari and I'm glad she has someone like you. Because she has never been loved before like this, Eddie. She is your fresh start."

The younger man blinked back tears and pursed his lips, thinking about the dark haired woman that wore his ring around her neck and his name attached to her own. How she loved and cared for their son and their nephew. How she dutifully took care of their home and never complained even as she shouldered the weight of so much.

"I've been taking advantage of her being so new to this," he admitted, his voice rough with emotion. "Because she never asks for more. I don't take her on dates or give her flowers and she's never complained. But it's not even that. She never asks for help so I never give it. She's exhausted."

"It's not too late to fix it, Eddie. Mariana has never been one to hold a grudge against her family. Her chosen family, that is. She probably doesn't even blame you or think anything of it. But now you can step up. Explain it to her. Make the right choices. Take your wife on a date."

"Thank you," Eddie said quietly.

"And Eddie...if you hurt my daughter at all, I will find a way to transfer you to Idaho."

Bobby patted his shoulder and sent a pointed look in the direction of the hall before heading for the bunks. Eddie turned his head to find a sleepy Mariana walking towards him. Her braid was messy and falling apart and she rubbed her eyes in a way that looked a lot like Diego when he was tired.

"Hey, what are you doing up?" Eddie asked softly, wiping away any evidence of the tears that had built at Bobby's words.

"Nightmare," she sighed. "Figured I would grab some tea and read a bit and see if I could fall asleep again."

He followed her into the kitchen and grabbed the tea kettle for her, filling it up with water and setting it on the stove to boil. While waiting, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into his chest as he rubbed her back.

"What was your nightmare about?"

"Dunno. Just woke up feeling all panicky. You weren't there."

Eddie hated how small she sounded. He hated how her mind played tricks on her by replaying the hardest moments she's struggled through. He especially hated not being there to help when she needed him. Even if she wouldn't outright admit it, Mariana always felt safer when he was nearby.

"I'm sorry sweetheart. Bobby and I were talking."

"About what?"

"I'll tell you about it when the shift's over and you have some sleep in you."

She let out a soft whine in protest but he merely kissed her forehead and moved the kettle off the stove as it began to whistle.

"You should head to bed," she murmured.

"Nah, I'm fine." He poured out two cups of herbal tea for them and nudged her towards the couch. Mariana rolled her eyes but agreed nonetheless, plopping down on the couch.

"I better not hear you complaining later."

"I'd rather sit here with you than be in that cot all alone," he admitted. She narrowed her eyes at him in suspicion of his sweet talking but scooted closer to him anyways. Eddie grabbed her book off of the coffee table as she rested her head in his lap.

"You've been having trouble sleeping recently," he pointed out as she got situated.

"Multiple late night shifts and two nine year olds will ruin your sleep schedule," she replied dryly. "I might start taking melatonin gummies."

"You're getting old, sweetheart."

"Mmm, will you still love me when I'm old and wrinkly?"

He snorted out a laugh at her question and leaned down to kiss her chastely. "Of course. Who is going to race me down the hall in a wheelchair?"

"I'd still win."

"Close your eyes, you little NASCAR driver. I'm trying to read here." He flipped over the book and laughed at the title as she swatted his hands.

"Parenting Teens? Mari, they're nine."

"I want to be prepared!"

Clearing his throat, he opened to where her bookmark was nestled between the pages and started. "Chapter six, The Terrible Sixteens. With high school comes drama..."

He was only a few pages in when her breathing evened out, soft puffs of air brushing against his skin as he turned the page and slid her bookmark back between the paper. Eddie set the book back onto the coffee table, careful not to wake her up. He laid his hand against her hair and she sighed into his touch, shifting closer to him.

Eddie laid his head back against the back cushions and fell asleep thinking about Bobby's words.