I Need You To Fix Me (A Sebastian Stan Story) Book 2

The DAY I Needed You To Fix Me

Dear Reader, I welcome you to the final chapter of I Need You To Fix Me. Though this book may be finishing, this is not the end for Sebastian but you will have to wait until the end of the chapter to discover what is instore for him. Now, let us continue their tale, for there is much to tell...

WARNING: CONTAINS TRIGGERS.

The song to listen to is Valerie by Amy Winehouse.

XOX

Reality.

Sebastian's POV.

Some days I just want to end it all. To bring the blade to my wrist or to consume enough tablets to end it all. To end my dull existance. My life feels like it has no meaning without her here. I am floating aimlessly in a sea of pain and depression.

Every morning I wake up and my green silicone wristband taunts my pitiful existance, reminding me that everything is not as it should be.

I worry that I am going to forget her, that she is just going to become a ghost that haunts me. I cannot let that happen, I am the only family she has. That is why I cannot end it all, I have to continue living for her. I have to live.

For her.

I will continue my muserable existence so that she will not be forgotten by anyone. Valerian will forever be remembered.

I am currently sat in the Doctor's consulting room, I was transferred to his practice after Valerian's death. I think that he wants to keep an eye on me. For her. Or maybe he is writing a paper about the effects of bereavement. Whatever his agenda, I'm here.

He is reading my case notes. His bushy, grey eyebrows furrowed to form one thick unibrow. I find myself unable to stop staring at them. They look so angry. I eyebrows could move/speak, I am pretty sure that they would slapping me around the face and yelling that I should pull myself together. Or prehaps they would yell profanities at me.

XOX

Reader's POV.

Doctor Christopher Miles watched his patient shuffle uneasily in their chair, something obviously wrong. "So," he steepled his fingers under his chin. "how have you been, Sebastian? It's been a month since our last appointment and since I set you your writing task."

The brunette moved a stray lock from his face, grimacing at the question. "Did you read it?"

"I'm sorry?"

"My novel, the pages I sent you, did you read it?"

There was an awkward pause whilst Doctor Miles considered how to answer. "I did."

Wow, that took a lot of thinking.

"What did you think of it?"

The Doctor smiled kindly, knowing how anxious Sebastian was feeling. "Well, it was obvious that you've tried to deal with some of your past experiences."

He nodded. "I did, I really did."

"What was it you named it again?"

"I Need You To Fix Me."

There is a pause.

His expression became quite serious. "There is something that I would really like to discuss with you.

Sebastian frowned. "Did I do something wrong?"

Doctor Miles shook his head. "No, no, not at all. I was just wondering why you didn't speak at Valerian's funeral?"

XOX

Sebastian's POV.

I feel a lump form in my throat, making it very difficult to breathe. My glass of water sits still on the glass desk. I reach for it, taking a sip. The ice coolness burns my throat and brings tears to my eyes. Doctor Miles waits patiently for my answer. "I couldn't speak at her funeral, I let her die." the words sit heavy in the air and there is an awkward pause between us.