I Need You To Fix Me (A Sebastian Stan Story) Book 2

Pumpkin (Part One)

A/N: WARNING: CONTAINS TRIGGERS AND LIME.

Sebastian's POV

We both have bad days, me more than her. It is inevitable due to the medication we consume, it takes a toll on our bodies, making us need days in to recuperate. When Valerian gets like this, I usually carry her outside to enjoy the night sky whilst in the safe embrace of my arms. When it's myself who is, well, having a bad day (and they're not just bad, they're painful for all those around me), she is so understanding. Valerian will make me soup. You see Reader, eating is something that becomes less of a priority when your body is so exhausted that you can't even lift your head off of the pilllow, except you need food to be able to function. My favourite is Pumpkin soup and that is what she makes for me on days like these.

Right now, I am lying in bed, trying to stay positive. The aroma of Pumpkin sits heavy in the air, filling my senses with it's sweet perfume.

The sky is no longer clear blue but now dusky pink with a smattering of navy, which is bleeding into the sunset like spilled ink. I look out of the window and to the solar system above, knowing that up there, our story is entwined with the diamond encrusted atmosphere, where the stars burn and the planets move on their courses of destiny-foretelling. I let myself feel free for a moment, forgetting the pain and the woes that tied me to the turning Earth. I feel myself slipping away, my body becoming lighter and my breathe turning into the mist that hides the moors from the lost traveller's wandering eyes. My eyes transform into one of the million crystals that watch over the dying planet as it continues to provide for the creatures that are slowly absorbing it's life source. There are blue orbes, blue orbes so full of life and sparkle, they mirrored the World in a way I have never seen before. They are so blue, I feel as if I am drowning in the purest of waters. My breath puffs out again before me, it's particles bursting into the tiniest piece of glitter, dispersing like solid pieces of moonlight around the room, twisting and turning like the most perfect of snowflakes.

"Sebastian, sweetie, did you hear what I said?"

Her voice brings me back to Earth. J find myself lying on my back and she is beside me, on her side, head propped on a hand as she leans on an elbow. "The soup will be ready in ten minutes, do you want some?"

I nod, my lungs ache. Talking is an effort.

She smiles, moving carefully to place a tender kiss on my forehead, a common gesture used by us. "Okay, I'll bring some in for you."

I love her.

XOX

On bad days, I think the most humiliating thing for us is that we need assistance to be bathed. I hate it when this happens. In films, shower and bath scenes are depicted as something rather raunchy and pleasurable. And they can be. This is not one of those times.

Now, I won't go into great detail but I am currently sat in the bath tub. Warm water surrounds me and soothes my aching limbs. Valerian is here too but she is on the outside of the tub, squirting shampoo into her hand.

I close my eyes, waiting for this whole ordeal to be over.

It's not because of Valerian that I am so uncomfortable, I feel so helpless and it is infuriating. It is different for Valerian when she's in state like this, I feel as though it is my duty to care for her but when it is me, I feel emasculated and pathetic. Now I just sound sexist. I'm not, everyone deserves equal rights. It is just difficult to explain!

"Nearly done, Seb." I feel her fingers rinsing the soap suds from my hair. She is so gentle with me, it makes me want to cry.

I love her.

XOX

I am cold, so cold. Shivers run up and down my arching spine as I try to escape the bitter chill. I gasp in pain, the cold has turned to heat, no fire. I am burning. The flames are slowly consuming my body. Setting my limbs alight. "No, nooo." I mumble. Before he coan stop himself, I am screaming, crying out for help, literally reaching out for salvation. My hands grappling at thin air. Suddenly cool hands entwined with mine, moving my arms to sit by my sides. A deliciously refreshing towel is wiped across my brow. Delicatly, a hand brushes my cheek, soothing my cries. Through blurred vision, I see the hazy figure of a woman, the features are not clear enough for me to work out who it is. "Steve?" I murmur.

"Sssssh, you need to rest, Sebastian." they whisper.

"Who the heck is 'Sebastian'?"

"I'm sorry, I meant to say Bucky."

I sigh, turning my head against the pillow. "I'm so tired, Steve."

"Of course you are, Bucks. You've got a fever, soldier."

"I love you, Steve."

"I love you too. Now rest, you need your strength."

Then, I fall into a peaceful, deep sleep.

XOX

Morning arrives once more on Earth, providing warm rays that again creep through the heavy curtains, casting a small amount of light around the large room. Particles of dust filter through the air, becoming visible, no golden, in the bright sunshine.

Like every morning, I begin to stir. My memories of last night hazy, except that I remember the fire, it was difficult not to remember something that caused me great agony.

Despite all of this, all I can think about is Valerian. She fills my senses as she lies beside me.

I love her.