Can't Have You | D.M. | 18+

29. feeling alive

Draco leads you out of the forest and towards the quidditch field. He goes into the Slytherin locker room and walks out with two brooms. You stare at him with wide eyes. You suck at flying.

Draco: You said you wanted to feel alive, right?

You nod but stare at the brooms like they're going to kill you.

Draco: You will be completely safe, I'll be right there next to you.

You bite your bottom lip before walking over to him to grab a broom. You take a deep sigh before kicking off the ground and flying up into the air with your eyes closed. You feel the cold winter air on your face as you fly up higher. You can hear Draco right behind you as you come to a complete stop in mid air. You feel Draco's hand on your back as he rubs tiny circles.

Draco: Open your eyes.

You open your eyes and see that you are completely over the quidditch field. You can see the tops of the trees of the forest and the very top of the castle. You look up and see the stars glowing right above you. It's breathtaking. The moon's bright light illuminating the whole place as you sit on your broom and look out into the valleys.

Draco: This is one of the things I love about flying. You can go as high as you want and you can see everything.
You: It certainly is breathtaking.

You look over at Draco and smile at him.

You: Thank you.
Draco: For?
You: Making me feel alive, again.

You both smile as you turn your heads up towards the sky, looking at the stars. You spot a constellation and point towards it.

You: That one there, that is my new favorite constellation.
Draco: Which one is that?

You turn your head to look at him, smiling.

You: It's name is, Draco.

He looks at you with wide eyes before turning back at the sky to look at the constellation. He looks back at you and smiles as you drop your arm and continue to look at the stars. You feel the cold air from the winter sky blow on your face causing you to close your eyes, take a deep breath and feel, alive. You smile at yourself as you think of the feeling.
"This is what I want to feel. I don't want to be sorry for myself, I want to ignore it and feel alive," you say reassuring yourself.
Draco stares at you with a huge smile on his face as he watches you feel alive. You open your eyes and turn to him, still with a smile on your face.

Draco: I'm glad you finally feel alive.
You: I couldn't have done it without you.

He smiles before turning towards the stars again, the smile dropping from his face.

Draco: I can promise you that I will never stop loving you but I can't promise you happiness and no fights.
You: You do promise me happiness. You give me happiness by just looking at me and smiling. You give me happiness by always being by my side no matter what. Yes, of course, we will fight and yell and drive each other bloody mad but, I can promise you that at the end of the day, we will both find ourselves lying in each other's arms.
Draco: That's all I want. That through all the bullshit, we still will come back. No matter what.
You: I promise.
Draco: I promise.

You sit there for a minute before looking back into his eyes.

You: I have a question.
Draco: Okay, shoot.
You: Why are your knuckles all scabbed and bruised?

Draco looks down at his knuckles before biting his bottom lip.

Draco: Uhm...well...I took a lot of my anger out on...my wall.
You: Your wall?
Draco: Yeah... I may have punched through the drywall so much that I needed to fix it, twice.

You stare at him before rolling your eyes and laughing. He looks at you with his brow raised, with a confused look.

Draco: At least it wasn't a person.
You: Your crazy.
Draco: Crazy about you...

"He's good."
You bite your bottom lip, trying to hold back your grin. You look back up at the stars one more time before flying back down to the field and landing gently on the sand. Draco follows and lands right in front of you. He places a hand on your cheek, stroking it, before leaning down and kissing you. You smile as you finally have your Draco back. This time, you aren't going to lose him. Yes, you may yell and fight and push each other away but, you both promised to always come back.

Draco: I love you.
You: I love you.
Draco: I think you have something waiting for you in my room...
You: Well, lets not leave it waiting.

Draco puts the brooms away before you both walk back towards the castle, Draco's arm around your shoulder holding you close. You slowly sneak down into the dungeons and into the Slytherin common room, without getting caught. You both walk up the stairs and into Draco's room. You look around and see how messy his room is. His bed isn't made, clothes everywhere on the floor, papers and books scattered, but the one thing that catches your eye is the bear on his bed. You turn to look at him but he's looking down at his shoes.

You: You kept it?
Draco: Uhm...yeah. I-uh...sleep with it every night. It's like I... have you next to me.

You smile as his cheeks turn pink. He's embarrassed.

You: Don't be embarrassed, it's cute.
Draco: Do not call me cute.

"Say make me. Just say it!"
You bite your lip as he takes out his wand and casts a cleaning spell to tidy up his room, as if that's going to impress you. You walk over to his, now made bed, and sit down remembering how comfy it is. Draco walks over to his dresser and pulls out a shoe box before walking over to you and placing the box in font of you. You look in it and see everything he gave you and some of his clothes. You pull out your ring and slip it on your finger before picking up his black ring and looking at him.

Draco: I didn't want to wear it after, well, you know...

You nod before slipping it on and grabbing your bracelet and his mothers necklace. You place them on the side table not wanting to go to bed with them on. You then notice his quidditch sweatshirt in the box as well. You look up at him and raise a brow.

Draco: It was your favorite sweatshirt and well...

You smile at him as you take it out of the box and hand it to him. He takes it, raising his brow for a second, before bringing it to his inhaling your scent.

Draco: It still smells like you.

You smile as he hands the sweatshirt back to you.

You: Because we have been so focused on me I never asked, how are you?
Draco: I'm better now that I have my girl back.

You smile at him as he sets the box down on the floor before turning back to you. He takes your hands in his as he stares into your eyes.

Draco: Can I ask you something?
You: Sure.
Draco: Could you...find a way to...let Weasley down so he will stop eye fucking you?
You: He does not eye fuck me.

Draco stares at you and raises a brow. You roll your eyes.
"Okay maybe he does a little bit."

You: I kind of did at the dance. I told him I wasn't interested in dating for a while.
Draco: Please could you find a way. I completely pushed Pansy off so, could you find a way to push him off?
You: Fine.
Draco: Thank you.

You smile and nod before yawning. Draco looks at the alarm clock seeing it read 1:00am.

Draco: We need to get to bed. It is going to be fucking hell to wake up tomorrow.

You nod before getting up and grabbing a pair of his sweatpants and his quidditch sweatshirt. You slip them on as he puts on his grey sweatpants. He climbs into bed first setting his bear on the side table before opening his arms up to you. You smile as you crawl on top of him and lay down in his arms. He wraps his arms around your back as you wrap your arms around his neck. Draco kisses your forehead before leaning down to whisper in your ear...

Draco: I'm glad to have you back in my arms. They have been so empty without you.
You: Mine, too.

He kisses your forehead once more before pulling you close, making sure you can't go anywhere. You kiss his chest before closing your eyes.

You: I love you, Draco.
Draco: I love you, my darling.