Can't Have You | D.M. | 18+

40. realization

A/N: Hello my lovelies. I added some things to this chapter so if you're reading for the 2nd time, there will be some new things. Hope you enjoy! xx

You sigh as Draco begins to snore in his sleep. You pull your wand out of your sweatshirt pocket and levitate him off of you so you don't have to carry him to his room. Once in his room you place him on his bed, carefully. Trying not to wake him, you walk into the bathroom and grab stuff you need to clean up his wound. Once you finish cleaning it properly, you wrap it in gauze before taking off his bloody white shirt. You sigh and look at the broken boy you love, sleeping peacefully. You look at the alarm clock and see it reads 2:00 am. As you look on the bedside table you spot a small journal. You turn to look at the sleeping boy before you reach and pick up the journal. You turn to the first page and to see the word fuck scribbled and written over a hundred times. You sigh and turn to the next page to see an entry written.

Dear fucking thing,
Is it possible to love and hate someone? My family hates this girl, so at first I did, too. But one night, her ex broke her heart and she confided in me. I might have been drunk but I saw her, she was real. I think I fell for her. I needed her. I wanted her. I needed to see her smile. I needed to be near her. To touch her skin. To hear her moan my name. I needed to kiss every single inch of her body. I needed to call her mine. Everything was going well, we were happy. But, something happened...something went wrong. It always fucking goes wrong. She claims I did something, that I didn't do. She sounds like a fucking nutcase. I hate how she makes me feel. I hate that she broke me and walked away. I hate her because I crave her so much. I should feel thankful that it ended like this, so we can go back to hating each other but, I can't help but love her. She's beautiful. Her smile lights up a room. Her eyes are bright like the stars. She's like a fucking addiction that I need to sober up from, to keep our parents happy. But I'm addicted. To her. To everything. Is this love or is this hate? We're supposed to hate each other, but that just makes me love her more. I hate that she broke me but that doesn't stop the feeling I get whenever she enters the room. I don't know what to do. What is she doing to me?

~Draco

You smile a little before you set the journal down. You sigh before you lean down kiss his forehead.

You: I don't know what you're doing to me, either. I hate you, too. But I love you even more.

You pull away and walk out of his room to yours. You walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror at your body covered in blood. You take off your sweatshirt and leggings and throw them in the hamper before washing off your hands and face. You look down at your white shoes, seeing they're covered in blood. You take them off and slip on your slippers before walking to your drawer and grabbing your green and black plaid pj shorts and a plain black t-shirt. As you get your t-shirt over your head, Alice walks into the room, out of breath. You stare at her and she smiles at the sight of you.

Alice: I have been looking for you everywhere. Where the hell did you go?
You: To the bathroom and then I decided to go to bed.
Alice: Okay, change of plans, you need to come with me.

Alice walks over and grabs your wrist, pulling you out of the room.

You: Why?
Alice: Trust me on this, okay?

You roll your eyes as she drags you out of the common room and up to Professor Slughorn's classroom.

You: Alice, why are we going to Slughorn's classroom?

She doesn't answer you and just walks in the door, having you follow her. You look and see Blaise standing in front of a chair. He turns around at the noise and you see Cedric passed out in it.