Chapter 18

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"Hey stranger!" Molly barged into my hotel room that I was sharing with Ashton. She had a bag on her back, a plastic grocery bag in her hand, and a smile on her face which told me that she was up to no good.

I really wasn't in the mood to deal with Molly's peppiness and probably talk about Michael, but I could already tell that she had no intentions of leaving me alone. "Hi Molly." I shut the door after her as she dropped the plastic bag on the bed and threw the bag that was on her back onto Ashton's bed. "What are you doing?" I questioned her.

"I'm here to make everything better."

"Nothing is wrong."

"Bullshit." She called me out and I didn't respond. "I know that you miss Cal."

"I don't miss him."

"Well, you can lie all you want but I know that you're lying." Molly informed me. "He's your best friend and I'm sure that you're miserable without him at your side."

"I survived without him while he was on the European tour..."

"Yeah, but you had things to keep you busy like other friends and work. Now all you can do is lock yourself in a hotel room and I'm almost positive that you've probably rented every movie that the hotels offer."

Ok, first of all, I hadn't see ALL the movies that the hotels offer.

Secondly, I swear I didn't miss him.

"Molly, I'm honestly fine."

"Whatever you say." The tone in her voice told me that she didn't believe a single word I was saying, but then again, she did tell me that she wasn't going to believe anything that I said the minute that she walked into the hotel room.

I was irritated at this point. "If you're just going to ignore everything I say and do whatever you want, why are you here?"

"Calm down girl." Molly giggled. "I'm here for a girl's night because I think we could both use it. Plus, I was bored because Michael is with the one who shall not be named and I was able to get this," Molly pulled out a bottle of vodka and a few beers, lining them up perfectly on the bed, " and I couldn't drink it all by myself because then I would look like an alcoholic and I'm not about that."

"Liar."

"Whatever. Just come get drunk with me."

I shrugged, not really in a drinking mood even though there was free alcohol in front of me. "Hmm..."

"Come on. What's better than getting emotionally numb and forgetting all your life problems?" Molly held the alcohol in her hand and slowly swayed it left and right.

"Good point." I joked along, walking forwards towards Molly and the plethora of alcohol that she had obtained. "Wait, I paused, what life problems do you have?"

"My best girl friend is sad and that is my life problem."

Within ½ an hour with Molly and about six shots of vodka and a beer, I couldn't think straight. I usually didn't let myself get this drunk, but then again it sounded like a good idea when Molly mentioned getting emotionally numb because at that point I couldn't miss Calum anymore.

But, then again when did anything ever go my way?

Everyone knows that two things can happen when you get drunk; the first being you become crazy and forget everything that is wrong or you get over emotional and just blurt out feelings and cry.

"Seriously, do you miss Calum?" Molly slurred.

"More than anything in my entire fucking life."

"Then why don't you make up with him?"

"Because I can't." I slammed my free hand down on the ground. "He hates me."

"I don't think he hates you."

"I know he does." I argued.

"BULLSHIT!" Molly shouted to the heavens. "Just call him and make up."

"It's not that even." At least I could realize this kind of stuff when I was drunk.

"No, I'll help you."

"What?"

"Call him and I'll help you and tell you what to say and everything like that and then everything will be back to normal and we can all be happy and yay!" Molly fell backwards.

"OK!" I agreed, quickly pulling out my phone and trying to scroll through my contacts that currently looked like they were written in another language.

I gave up and went to the keypad, typing in his number from memory and holding the phone up to my ear as Molly waited anxiously, big eyed and full of hope.

"Hi, you've reached Calum. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm either too lazy or too busy, but probably too lazy. So, leave a message after the-" I hung up the phone because I didn't want to leave a message; I wanted to talk to Calum.

"He didn't answer." I informed Molly.

"Just keep calling him until he does!" Molly cheered and being in the drunk state I was in, I took her stupid advice.

I must've called Calum six more times before he finally answered his phone. "Hello?"

"CALUM!" I smiled and Molly clapped silently.

"Peyton? Why did you call me like eight times? Is everything alright? Are you in trouble?" I'm pretty sure that Calum sounded worried, but I couldn't really think straight.

"No, I'm fine."

"Really? Then why did you call me?" Calum went from caring to irritated in a matter of 20 seconds.

"I'm drunk."

"Alright..."

"And Molly convined me to call you."

"Ok..." Calum didn't understand the point of the phone call and I'm pretty sure that if I had been sober that I wouldn't have understood the point of the phone call either. "Why did she convince you to call me?"

"I don't know. She told me I'm sad and that I should make up with you because then everything will go back to normal, ya know."

"Well, do you miss me?"

I sighed, "fuck."

"What?"

"Yes. Too much than I'd like to admit." I giggled, "I'm so fucking drunk."

"I think you need to go to bed."

"I think we need to talk."

"You'll regret talking to me while you're drunk in the morning."

"No I wouldn't." I pouted.

"I don't want to talk to you." Calum spat out.

"Calum," I whimpered, feeling as if I wanted to cry.

"What?"

"I'm sorry that I fucked everything up. I'm really terribly sorry and if I could take back everything than I would. I swear that I would. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm just trying to protect myself."

"Protect yourself from what?"

"The past. My past. Everything."

Calum was silent on the other end and I was waiting for him to yell at me or something because I had mentioned my personal reasons and still had not given him complete details of them. "Do you love me?" Calum's voice was hushed.

"I don't know what real love is Calum." I hung up the phone and just feel back onto the floor, hitting my head on the wall in the process.

"Damn it." I rubbed the back of my head.

"How'd it go?" Molly crawled over towards me.

"Shhh, I'm tired. We'll talk about it in the morning." I rolled onto my side and faced the wall, preparing myself to fall asleep.

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