and they were roommates || minsung

29

"i'm gonna shower real quick, brb you guys." jisung smiled at his boyfriend and his friends as he got up and went to get clean clothes and a towel.

"ew did you just say brb?" felix gave a disgusted look as everyone just laughed.

"shut up." jisung squinted his eyes at his best friend as he walked to the bathroom, closing the door and locking it. he set his stuff down, crouching in front of the door.

you're worthless. minho doesn't actually love you. who could love you? you should die. you deserve to die. you think your brother actually loves you? he's just using you to get out of that house. lixie and jinnie? they're getting sick of you. you're so needy all the time. and look at you! gaining weight...you're so fat. you're disgusting. how could anyone love you? grab your blade. don't be shy. you deserve it. you deserve the pai-

jisung quickly reached into his cabinet, quietly finding a blade he had hidden. he shakily stripped himself, throwing his clothes somewhere across the bathroom. he shakily started carving lines into his pretty skin. he didn't cry. he didn't flinch. he kept a straight face as he carved into his body.

once he was satisfied, once his thoughts quieted down enough, he shakily stood up. realization hit. is minho going to be upset with me?

he quickly went to the shower, turning on the hot water. he almost, almost, screamed out in pain as the water hit his skin. he made his shower go by as quick as possible, quickly drying off and getting dressed.

he put on his fake smile, walking out of the bathroom. he took his spot next to minho as minho immediately pulled him closer.

"what took so long ji? you jacking off or something?" felix joked, making everyone laugh. jisung found it hard to laugh, but still did.

"no you idiot, i was enjoying the peace." jisung stuck his tongue out at his best friend.

"okay okay! it's getting late so i'm gonna take my boyfriends to dinner." chan interrupted the two.

"okay, have fun you three." jisung smirked as they all got up, laughing. the three put on their shoes, leaving with a wave.

"we should eat too." minho said, kissing the top of jisungs head.

"mmmm i'm full from the pizza." jisung smiled as he looked up at the elder.

"hmmm we'll be back in a sec hyunjae." minho smiled as he picked jisung up, carrying him to their room. he sat on his bed, only holding  jisung closer to him.

"what's wrong princess? of course you don't have to tell me if you don't want, but know i'm here for you." minho asked with a pout.

"i-i don't want to talk about it right now. i'm just not really hungry." jisung said quietly.

"can you please try and eat just a little? something small? it's not healthy if you don't eat. and forcing you to eat is equally unhealthy so, please try to eat just a little." minho said as he grabbed jisungs hands.

"okay. i don't know how much i can eat though."

"that's okay princess. i'll just make us ramen and you can eat a little bit. as much as you can." minho pecked jisungs lips.

"thank you hyung." jisung had a small smile on his face.

jisung let out a small squeal as minho stood up, still holding him bridal style. he happily carried jisung, gently setting him on the couch.

"i'll go make ramen." he smiled.

jisung ended up not eating much, but minho assured him that that's okay.

the boys were laying in bed. hyunjae was fast asleep in jisungs bed. minho and jisungs bodies were tangled together as they laid there talking.

"hyung. i had really bad thoughts earlier." jisung whispered.

"hm..what were the thoughts?" minho asked as he began to run his fingers through jisungs hair.

"they were saying you don't love me. no one loves me. i'm getting fat, i should die. lixie and jinnie are getting tired of me. hyunjae is just using me." jisung said quietly.

"princess i promise you that none of that is true. i love you more than anything. lixie and jinnie could never get tired of you. and trust me, your brother really cares about you. and you're not fat. trust me. what did you do to silence those thoughts?"

"i did as they said. i c-cut myself."

"princess..." minho hugged the boy tighter.

"i-i'm sorry."

"no don't be sorry. you did nothing wrong. there's no shame in cutting yourself." minho gently kissed jisungs head.

"can we just sleep now?" jisung asked.

"of course princess."

a/n: i love you. i'm proud of you. you're doing so well. you're so strong. you're so beautiful.