Loving Kinnick

You're Not The Type Of Guy To Take No For An Answer, Are You?

He sat across from me, no longer by my side, as he was previous times in class. I felt lost when I looked into his ocean eyes. I was stranded at sea, without a map, wondering where the waves were taking me. My boat floated in open waters of despair and anger. The waves were breaking my boat apart piece by piece. I don't know where to begin on how to fix it.

So, I sat there like he wasn't sitting in front of me because he sat before me, acting as if I didn't exist. None of my tablemates spoke a word. Chrissy was dead silent, and Miles sat diagonally from me, sending questioning stares and worrisome looks. To them, Kinnick not speaking was normal unless he was around me. Then somehow, the man managed to open up, and you couldn't get him to shut up if you tried.

My dad arrested him after what happened at the gym. After my dad had no reason to hold him in contempt, he had to let him go, or Kinnick could sue. Chrissy found outa bout the bruises and what happened with Kinnick. She learned about his arrest before I did.

All of my teachers were sending emails telling me I was failing. They were telling me I needed to get back on track. I saw their disappointment when I walked into their classrooms every morning. I was falling behind, and I don't know how to pick up my speed.

My eyes lifted from the screen of my laptop long enough to steal a glance from him. I wanted to know what he was doing and if he was thinking about me as much as I thought about him. It upset me when he didn't understand why I didn't tell him. All I keep telling myself is I deserve it for not opening up. I just can't find the words.

He leaned on his elbows like he did every other time he sat across from me, leaning onto his balled fists. And his eyes were on me. My heart broke free, raising in my throat, threatening to release itself on the table. I had to get out of here.

He didn't call my name, and I didn't hear his chair screech like mine did when I hurried out of my seat. And there he was - Warren. Standing a few classrooms down, scrolling through his phone. I assumed he was waiting for class to get out. I wondered if this was his first one of the day. It would explain why he was in the hallway every time I shot out of my own.

"Boston -"

I walked past him. "Just leave me alone!"

He didn't grab for me when I walked away, but he didn't have to. The words he spoke made me halt in a way, grabbing my arm never could.

"Your dad invited my family over for dinner," he snickered behind me. "He asked me to talk to you and try to rekindle old feelings. He said talking to me might make you happy. You haven't told him what happened, have you?"

"No, I didn't tell him because I wouldn't want to ruin your life the way you ruined mine," his mocking demeanor faltered, so I carried on. "I should blame you for the death of my mom - I can't. So, I kept it a secret, that way nobody thinks I am making excuses for what happened to her that night."

It was true. As much as I hated Warren for what happened that night, I didn't want to ruin his life. Not only that, but I tried convincing myself it wasn't a sexual assault. I never said no. I didn't resist him that night. After drinking out of the cup he handed me, I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. And if I did, I don't remember. It has been two years, no one will believe me anyway. So, I kept it inside, and instead of letting it destroy everyone else, I let it destroy me.

The rain made it impossible to stay warm, but it felt nice. A drift passed through the material on my bed, chilling my skin. I stepped into the parking-lot thinking about Warren's family coming over.

"Bo!"

My head snapped over to see Luke. The second he came within distance, I threw my arms around him. He ran his fingers over my hair, holding me tightly. He wanted to know what Warren wanted, and I answered him by asking him to dinner.