Florence: Where It All Began

Chapter 30

"What's wrong?" Tony asks, while taking off his reading glasses.

You reposition yourself to where you're facing him and take a deep breath, hoping it will help calm your nerves.

"Nothing is really wrong but something has been bothering me and I need to talk about it before I put it off for any longer."

"Alright."

"Okay, so, when I came here to Florence, I really had no idea why I was here. I had my suspicions and they proved to be right. One thing led to another and here we are, spending days off together, sleeping in the same bed, so on. Ugh.. I don't know why I'm telling you as if you don't know. Anyways, I'm having the best time with you and I really like you. But... you're married, Tony. I know that you've told me repeatedly that things are different with me, you're over Jenni and you're going to ask for a divorce, but you've yet to do so. AndI'm just left wondering, why? Why have you waited to talk to her about things when you know you're not going back to her?"

"I don't know, I just haven't."

"You just haven't?"

"Yes, I just haven't gotten around to it."

"Do you have any plans to?"

"Not really, I haven't even thought about it. She's been the furthest thing from my mind."

"Okay, I can appreciate that, but I need more. I can't go on like this with your marriage hanging over my head."

"What do you want from me?"

"I'd like you to talk to her, tell her how you feel, and what your intentions are. Unless I've completely misread this entire situation and you intend to stay with her after all."

Tony gets out of bed and starts to walk over to get a drink of water, which tells you he's getting upset.

"Oh, stop. You know I don't love her anymore. I'm with you."

"I know you're with me, physically, Tony. You're here, in this hotel room, with me. But I don't know where you are in your thoughts, your mind. I have no idea what's going on in that head of yours sometimes."

Tony sets his water down and stands there with his arms crossed.

"So all you want is for me to talk to her?"

"Yes. I'm not trying to pressure you into anything, please hear me on that. If you want to stay with your wife, then all you have to do is say so and I'll leave. But if you're with me, if you intend on staying with me, then I need you to let me know. Will you please come sit down?"

He reluctantly walks back over to you and sits on the side of the bed.

"I feel like we have a good thing going here, Tony, and I don't want it to end. But I can't let myself continue on, in this state of questioning what you're going to do, what you will decide; I have too much respect for myself to do that. I need to know, one way or the other."

"Okay, I'll talk to her."

"When?"

"I don't know. In case you haven't noticed, I've been pretty busy lately."

"You can at least call her. I know you have time for that."

"I just don't want to think about this anymore."

"Welcome to my world. I'm sick to death of thinking and worrying about it. Don't you care about me? Doesn't it concern you that I feel insecure in our relationship?"

"Christ, Amy! Of course I care about you. But I'll handle it at the moment and in the way that I want. It's my marriage, not yours. Get off my back."

Tony gets up and walks across the room to pick up his clothes and put them away.

"Your actions are speaking louder than words to me right now, Tony. You say you care about me, then you don't do a seemingly simple thing to show you care. It's selfish and I don't have time for it."

He says nothing to you and continues doing what he's doing. You grab the few things of yours in his room and start to walk back to your room.

"You know, you're right, it is your marriage, but your marriage is affecting me, the woman you're with. If I don't mean anything to you then just forget it. I'm sleeping in my room tonight."

You slam the connecting door as you enter your room and drop what you're holding, immediately bursting into tears. You walk to the bed and bury your face into your pillows, hugging them as you hope they provide some sort of comfort to you. You have no idea what's going to happen but you were hoping this conversation would go differently and now you're heartbroken, lying alone in the darkness as you cry yourself to sleep.