Florence: Where It All Began

Chapter 33

You return from the bathroom to find him laying there, just staring at the ceiling. You walk over and grab the basket of strawberries and take a bite of one as you walk back to bed. You set the basket down on the nightstand and climb on top of him, just sitting there.

"What are you thinking about?" You ask.

"You."

You laugh, "What about me?"

"How incredibly beautiful you are."

He rolls you onto your side, making you laugh while he kisses all over your face.

You feed him the other half of the strawberry and throw the top away.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" He asks.

"I guess. I must be if you say so."

"I mean it, you're stunning."

"Excuse me, Sir, but if you're trying to get in my pants, just know I see right through you and it won't work." You laugh, reaching for another strawberry.

"Amy, why are you joking around? I'm trying to be serious."

You pause for a moment, taking another bite, and realize that he actually is trying to be serious.

"I'm sorry, I thought you were just messing around."

He grabs your hand and brings it to his mouth, closing his eyes before kissing it gently. You lay there and just watch him, wondering where this is coming from.

"Are you okay?" You ask.

He pulls your arm over his side as he looks at you and smiles.

"Yea. I've just missed this."

"Missed what?"

"Feeling this close to someone who I know cares for me the same way I care for them."

Your heart simultaneously flutters and breaks, all at once. You're sad for him because he hasn't had this but then you also feel happy because you're able to fulfill his need for intimacy.

"You really do care, don't you?"

"Yes I do, I just have trouble showing it sometimes. At least in certain areas."

"I know, and it's okay. I just want you to consider me. Just because you aren't necessarily affected by something, doesn't mean I'm not."

"I know, I really am sorry for not thinking about all of that garbage. I'm so far past Jenni and our marriage that, most of the time, I forget I'm married."

"I understand that. But, for the life of me, I will never understand her."

"What do you mean?"

"She had you and she just let you go. You are so special, such a good man and she let you walk right out of her life. Didn't even try to stop you."

"She couldn't have stopped me even if she had tried. I'd finally made it to the place in my career that I always wanted to be and I was never going back. I was done with theater, done with the British way of life, done with it all. So she settled. Instead of fighting me on it, she just left things as they were, chalking my absence up to me being busy working."

"Didn't you say she came for visits and stuff?"

"Every now and then. And things would go back to normal very quickly, but then she'd leave again and we wouldn't talk for months."

"If you knew you weren't ever going back and she was never going to move, why didn't you end it years ago?"

"It was easier not to. I was working and didn't want to deal with all the legal bullshit. I suppose I also didn't want to hurt her. We were together for so long that, I don't know, I felt like I needed more of a reason."