GyllenHolland: Far From Home

Why

It was around 1:00 in the morning, and Jake could not sleep. A vortex of emotions clouded his head. He felt like he was using Tom. Tom was a confused, 23 year old man who he just had sex with. Maybe they shouldn't have had sex yet. He regretted it, and felt it was wrong on too many levels.

Tom was laying on his chest, softly snoring. Jake could see the bruises and faint hickey marks starting to appear on his body from where he had been too rough earlier. His lips were also slightly swollen.

He sat up and decided it was for the best if he left, even though it was his apartment. They still had scenes to shoot this morning, and figured it'd be easier on their sanity if he wasn't here. He quietly got off the bed, and got dressed. He tiptoed around the room, grabbing anything he thought he would need. Just as he was picking up his keys to leave, Tom woke up.

"Jake, where are you going?" He asked, voice raspy.

"I uh, just need to clear my head."

"Can I come with?"

"No, I want to be alone."

These words were daggers to Tom's heart. He tried to fight back the tears but it was useless. What was a pouty face soon turned into tears, rolling down his cheeks. "Di- did I do something?"

Jake sighed and put his keys down. "No, you didn't. It's more so what I did."

"What do you mean. I don't-"

"I feel like I'm using you. The way I fucked you tonight... I fucked you like one of my hookups." He rubbed his forehead. "Not to mention you're going through a lot, and I certainly don't think having sex with a man 16 years older than you is going to help."

Tom was pissed now. He balled his fists up underneath the bedsheets, trying to find the right words. "So you think leaving me alone, in your own apartment, was the answer?"

"What the fuck is the answer then Tom?!" Jake yelled. "How could we ever work out?!"

He'd never heard Jake yell at him, except for when they're acting together. His anger made him flinch, causing the tears to start falling down his cheeks like a river.

Jake didn't feel bad for yelling, but he did feel bad for making Tom cry. "I'm sorry, kid." He walked back over to him. He sat on the bed, and pulled him into his chest. "I just don't want to take advantage of you, I really like what we have going. But I'm not sure how it'll work out."

Tom winced when he hugged him. His body was still sore. He pulled away from his chest, wiping his tears.

"Do they hurt?" Jake asked.

He shrugged. "I'm mostly just sore. Do yours?" He ran his eyes over his neck, looking at the few hickey's he managed to give him.

"No, I've gotten used to it." Jake gave him a slight smile.

Tom looked down at the comforter, and let out a deep sigh. "Well I just want to let you know that, I've wanted this ever since I met you a few years ago, Jake." He nervously started to fiddle with Jake's hands. "It's just been hard to admit to myself that I feel this way about you."

"Why?"

He shrugged. "Not important, but I want you to know that we don't have to have a public relationship or anything. We can just keep this to ourselves until we figure out what to do. Or until I know what to do." He muttered the last part.

Jake heard him, but didn't read into it. "I'm down for that, going public has never been my thing. People always get in the way." He smiled, and kissed Tom's nervous hand.

"Okay well, I'm getting dressed. I don't want to be the only one naked." His voice softened. "Will you look away?"

"Why are you still so shy around me?"

His face heated up, his lips tightening. "I don't know, I just am."

Jake felt bad for embarrassing him so he agreed. He turned his head away, still wanting to look. Tom got out of bed, covering his area, and picked his clothes up off the floor. It hurt to walk; His legs were numb and his ass was past throbbing at this point.

While he was getting dressed, he decided to ask Jake why he always calls him kid.

"Well why did you call me sir?" He answered, slightly peeking at his nakedness.

"I uh- I didn't know what else to say to you." He pulled on his boxers. "Heat of the moment I guess."

"Same here. Maybe we should call each other something else."

"Alright. But only when we're alone." Tom got back into bed, and was welcomed by a warm gentle arm. "Can I still call you sir when we, you know..."

"Just as long as I can still call you kid." Jake laughed, matching the kink he had. They kissed for a brief moment, and he was already wanting more. "Want to go for 'round two?"

"I'm too sore for 'round two."

Jake rolled his eyes. "Oh come on. I wasn't even that rough."

"Jake, my ass will never be the same."

He laughed at him, and how innocent he truly could be. Tom snuggled into the side of his neck, taking in the scent of his cologne. It was enough to send him into a daze, and eventually into a slumber.