{20} Self Confessions

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Today is the premiere. I'm nervous but I can do it. My mom will be there, my dad will be there. Oh he is coming home today. I hear the door unlocking. That must be him. I take my cup of coffee, because I obviously can't do anything without it, and went to welcome my dad after his trip.

"Hi!" I hugged him excitedly.

"Hey baby" he kissed my forehead and left his bags just right inside of the door.

"How was your trip?" I smiled.

"Its was fine. Tell me your news" he said sitting at a chair and leaving a big sigh.

"Well nothing much. I'm just anxious about tonight" I said sitting at the sofa.

"Well you shouldn't be. I'm sure you'll do great" he smiled at me warmly.

"Thanks dad" I smiled back at him.

"So I decided to cook your favorite today. So I can reduce some stress for today" he smiled.

"Aww that's so sweet dad. Thanks" I said getting up to wash my cup, now empty from the coffee.

"So go upstairs and I'll call you when everything is ready" he said and went right into the kitchen.

"Okay" I smiled and left.

While waiting for lunch to be ready my mind flew to the memories I had with Noah. What are we? Am I his girlfriend? Does he even want me to be his girlfriend? Is he just playing with me? Probably. His style reminds me of a bad boy and someone who doesn't do relationships. But I shouldn't judge him by his appearance. He is too cute though. I don't know what's going on with me and him. Should I call him? We need to talk about it. But what if we fall out and then the play will be horrible and akward? I'll just turn off my phone so I won't get distracted.

Sometimes I actually feel that Noah can actually love me. But after my last relationship finding true love seems impossible. I mean I really want to admit it but I'm afraid of what will happen, but I love Noah.

Wait "I'm in love with Noah!" I said and jumped out of bed.

No no no. Why did I let myself love him? If he hurts me just like everyone else? If he doesn't feel the same? He probably doesn't feel the same. God I'm an idiot.

I started hitting myself with a pillow at the thought of my feelings.

And with all the anger and doubts I had in my head, I burst in tears.

"Oli! Lunch is ready!" dad said happily and I answered that I'll be down in a minute.

I burst in the bathroom to wipe my tears. I didn't want dad to see me in that way so I wiped my tears and put on some concealer under my eyes to cover my tired and sad bags.

"Thanks dad, it looks amazing" I said trying to put on my best smile.

Showing my sadness would concern my dad and I certainly didn't want that. He put so much effort in this lunch just for me and it will hurt my feelings if he sees me hurt.

"This is soo tasty" I said my mouth full in food which made my dad laugh.

"So today I'm taking you out for dinner after the premiere" he said smiling.

"Great. Did you book a table for two? Because if you have change it for three people" I smirked.

"You have a boyfriend?" he said happily.

"I knew Noah was a good kid" he said and I didn't reply because his happiness was obvious.

I washed the dishes and got ready to leaave for the preparation of the premiere.

"Call me when you get there! Love you!" dad called when I was leaving the house.


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