Loving you

31🎈

Onika pov:

I was sitting in my room staring at the floor. I haven't left out of here all day, Chanel and ming would come to check on me peach even came once. But not beyonce. I mean I don't blame her I wouldn't want to talk to myself right now either. I wanna go out there and talk to her but I can't. Cause of these fucking voices. I thought they would leave after last night but they didn't and according to them they're not leaving. Ever. I guess on the bright side not only the bad ones returned, the good voices are here too.

I sighed "What are you doing onika you need to go talk to her" I said to myself looking down. I got up and walked out of my room, as soon as I left out I wanted to go back in. "Come on don't be a pussy" I mumbled and walked into the living room seeing chanel and ming watching tv. When they looked up and seen me they smiled "Hey cookie wassup" chanel said "I need to talk to beyonce, do you know where she is" I asked and they nodded "She in the kitchen" Ming said and i nodded and walked away going in there.

When I got in there I seen her on the floor watching something on her tablet eating a cookie. When she looked up and seen me she got up grabbing her stuff about to leave "Wait beyonce can we talk please" I said lowly and she turned around looking at me. I stared at her not really knowing what to say and she huffed rolling her eyes then walked away. "Fuck" I mumbled angrily to myself looking down. What are you doing? "I don't know, just leave me alone". Go follow her. "I don't know what to say". Say that you love her. "I can't". Yes you can. "No I can't". You could if you wasn't such a bitch. I sighed knowing that it was a whole different voice talking. "I'm not a bitch" I said to it and started walking out the kitchen. Yea right. I rolled my eyes and walked into the living room seeing beyonce watching tv with ming and chanel.

I froze up again looking at her. I was so nervous and I had no idea what to say, I just wish I had my mom right now to help me. you do. A voice said making me gasp, they looked over at me confused and I didn't say nothing I just ran out the front door going outside. "Mommy" I asked the voice sitting down on the porch, I know it sounds stupid but that voice sounded a lot like her. I don't know maybe i'm going crazy. Yes baby it's me. I shook my head trying not to cry "Shut up you're lying". I'm not lying cookie it's me. "Mommy I miss you" I said crying. "I miss you too baby. "I don't know what to do". Yes you do. "How do I do it". Just tell her, tell her how you feel. "I can't, i'm scared". You gotta be brave cookie, don't lose her. I nodded and wiped my eyes "Ok I love you mommy". I love you too ugly. I laughed and got up turning around to see chanel, ming, and bey standing at the door.

"Are you ok" ming asked and I nodded. Tell her. "Umm bey I really need to tell you something" I said looking down "Ok" I heard her say lowly. Chanel and ming walked in the house closing the door leaving me and beyonce outside alone. "I- beyonce I umm, ok" I said stumbling over my words, I closed my eyes and too a deep breath. I opened my eyes and she was looking at me waiting for me to continue, I felt myself getting emotional and tried to calm down. Just fucking say it. "I'm trying" I mumbled and beyonce looked at me confused. I took a deep breath "Beyonce I love you a lot" I said feeling tears fall down my face "And I know yesterday when you said it I didn't say nothing back but I-I was scared and when I tried to tell you I froze up" I said and wiped my eyes. "I fell in love with you a long time ago bey, and I.. I-I just- I can't lose you" i said breaking down crying. She hugged me tight and I hugged back crying into her.

"I didn't mean to hurt you bey i'm sorry" I said crying and she shushed me "It's ok nika" she said and I shook my head. She pulled back and looked at me "I fell in love with you when I first met you" she said wiping my tears then kissed both my eyes. "You're not gonna lose me bubba" she said putting her head on mine, I smiled and nodded my head. She's lying. "No she's not". Beyonce pulled back and looked at me confused "Who you talking to" she asked and I shook my head "Nobody" I said and she nodded looking at me questionaly. Just wait until she finds out you're fucking crazy. "I'm not crazy". "I didn't say you was crazy" beyonce said looking at me weird. "Oh sorry I thought I heard that" I said and she nodded and said "Well let's go back in the house" I nodded my head and we both walked in.