Arcanum Hominem (#1)

Chapter 66

Killian decided that he would actually train me. Though it made me happy on the inside, I didn't show it on the outside. I kept my face indifferent, so he would never know what I was thinking or feeling. He tried to get me to show some type of emotion other than frustration, anger, pain, but nothing he did worked. I didn't even let him touch me intimately. I gave him nothing. It was what he deserved. He was an amazing teacher, though, even better than Row. If he had been the one to train me first, I might have been able to handle myself when I was kidnapped. More weeks passed, and no one had a lead on Chase or Archer, so I spend all of my days training, day and night. Whenever Killian wasn't available, I would practice on Row or just myself. I spend most of my time in the gym, getting my body in better shape before heading to the training room. I was always tired, but I got up every time, thoughts about someone snatching me up fueling the fire inside me. Maybe it was a little unhealthy, but I didn't want it to be any other way. This was my life now, and I was going to embrace it. 

Two months after I passed out on the doorstep of the warehouse, we finally got somewhat of a clue as to where Chase might be. Only Chase, which annoyed me, but it was something. They were working as hard as they could, and I couldn't keep letting my anger control my decisions. 

"Scarlett."

I continued my pullups, huffing as I went.

"Scarlett," Killian said my name in a more stern tone, which actually annoyed me and was the reason I stopped, dropping to my feet. I snatched up the rag sitting on the workout bench next to me and passed it over my face. 

"What, Killian?" I stared at him, waiting for him to speak and hopefully have something useful to tell me. He sighed, jaw ticking as he stared me down. His green eyes were filled with an emotion I couldn't decipher, so I didn't try. He walked closer to me, and I fought the urge to back up.

"How much longer are you going to punish me? I've apologized multiple times at this point. I don't know what else to do. Tell me what to do." He was almost pleading with me, which tugged at my weak ass heartstrings, but I pushed that feeling aside. I couldn't miss him. I couldn't want him. The cycle would only repeat. He did apologize, though, which I was grateful for, but it was too late. I already made up my mind that he wasn't going to get all of me again. 

I tossed the rag on my shoulder and clicked my tongue. "Is that all you wanted to say? You don't have any actual information for me?" I asked, scrunching up my face. He was wasting my time. I could've been up there with the others, helping them find more clues on Chase. Killian's nostrils flared, and he shoved his hand through his curls. His hair was getting long, past his shoulders now and- no! I had to stop my mind from wandering so that I wouldn't break.

"Scarlett, please." He took a few more steps toward me, and he was now directly in front of me, his cologne surrounding me, suffocating me, consuming me. I couldn't inhale too deeply, or my body would react. His familiar scent muddled my brain, and I almost couldn't think properly. 

I took a step backward, my legs hitting the workout bench. "No, Killian. You don't care to have me back. You just miss the sex." I basically sneered in his face. That comment pissed him off. He straightened up, eyes widening for a second before narrowing. 

"You're so caught up with yourself that you think you're the only woman in my life I can have sex with? You're not. Don't flatter yourself." he hissed in my face before turning around and storming out of the gym. My mouth parted at his words, the blow to my chest in the form of pressure. He was having sex with someone else? I shook my head and clenched and unclenched my teeth. It shouldn't affect me. It wasn't like we had rules about being exclusive. There wasn't really a need for that. It was kind of an unspoken thing. The more I thought about his words, the more it pissed me off. I wasn't having sex with anyone at all and struggling, and he was over here having the time of his life? Absolutely not. I flexed my fingers, pushing back the urge to slam my fist into the punching bag. I needed to learn to calm myself down without needing to punch something.