Searching For Answers (We Can Make This Work sequel)

Chapter 24

** Darcy's P.O.V. ** 

I think what happened between Spencer and I yesterday was a little rushed, I think it's going to take a long time before I can fully love him again. Sure there were guys in Berlin, but none could compare to Spencer, but I felt bad, I could never truly enjoy myself because I could only ever think about him! He told me he had never moved on, that he could never find someone else but 20 years is a long time, surely he met someone along the way right? 

I decided to push all that to the back of my mind for now and focus on the positives of taking a step in mending things between us. But today will challenge everything we have built up so far. 

"Spencer" I started as I entered the living room and sat across from him "I think it's time we spoke to Jacob" I hesitated at the thought that after all these years I was finally going to see my son, how he would react to us is a whole different story, but I'm just hoping for the best 

"Darce I don't know..." Spencer started reluctantly 

"No Spencer, we can't put this off any longer, Jacob knows we're here, I'm sure he's just as scared as we are! For god sake Spencer he's our son we can't just keep on ignoring him hoping it'll all go away, and we can't pretend it'll be happy families either, I have to talk to Casper too." I paused at the end as I heard myself say Casper's name for the first time in a very long time 

"I will not let you speak to that bastard" Spencer spat 

"Spencer do not speak like that! Casper had a bigger part in Jacob's life than we ever had! I owe him a lot for keeping our son alive!" I rebutted 

"You owe him nothing!" Spencer raised his voice with venom  

"I'm leaving now and you're either coming or not, now I don't care if you leave after we see Jacob but I'm speaking to Casper wither you like it or not!" I replied just as cruelly 

I stood up from the chair and grabbed my keys off the coffee table in front of me. I walked to the door and out to the car, I waited for a minute, thinking Spencer wasn't coming but he soon emerged from the house with a piece of paper in his hand as he closed the front door behind him. He hopped in and hesitantly I started the car, taking a deep breath, Spencer took my hand and gave it a supportive squeeze. 

"I'm sorry" I said gently 

"You don't have to apologise Darce, I know you're scared and so am I but we're going to do this together ok? You're not alone" he smiled supportively as he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek 

"Where would I be without you" I smiled 

He gave a small laugh and tucked the piece of paper into his pocket  

"What's that?" I questioned as I began to drive off 

"It's a letter for Jacob, just in case he doesn't want to talk to us" Spencer said 

****  

We drove in silence until we reached Jacob's apartment, he didn't know we were coming so I was just hoping he would be there 

I parked at the side of the pavement and unbuckled my belt, I sat there for a minute, not really knowing how to feel. I took three deep breaths as Spencer left the car and came around to my side opening the door 

"Take your time" he said gently as he reached in his hand and took mine softly 

I stood out onto the pavement and began to walk towards the front door of the building 

"Hotch said he lives in apartment 3C" I said hesitantly  

Spencer nodded as he held a firm grasp on my hand for support. We went to the elevator and exited on the third floor. I walked slowly toward the door that had 3C etched onto a brass plate. I stood there for what felt like forever, feeling almost paralyzed 

"It's ok" Spencer whispered  

I knocked gently on the door and immediately heard footsteps from inside, I took a sharp intake of breath, trying to hold myself together  

The door opened slowly and there he stood 

My little man, the last time I saw him he was in his pushchair just learning how to say mama! Now he was over 6ft tall with piercing blue eyes and shaggy brown hair, but he had the same warm hearted smile as he did when he was just my little.... 

"Jacob" I whispered out loud in awe