Believe

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POV CAITLIN:

After the events at my mother's company, I promised myself that I would be very careful with my powers and that I would find a way to suppress them. Fortunately with the help of Cisco and his ingenuity, he made me a necklace that suppressed my metahuman abilities.

However, one event meant that I had to use my powers again and that event was to save Barry from Savitar's clutches. At the beginning I still told the team that I was not going to be able to save him, however after some insistence on the part of Iris I ended up accepting it. Although we managed to save Barry, I was overwhelmed by my fears and my anger, which only increased with each passing second.

I knew that a very important step to get rid of these powers that I am just making my life a real nightmare, was to find Dr. Alchemy and I don't think to stop until I can find him. After finding some dead ends, I thought a good option would be to kidnap Julian Albert and force him to create an algorithm to find Savitar's disciplines. I know it seemed like a good idea at the time, however it was more than seen that it was complete nonsense! But my mind Killer Frost thought it was the best idea of ​​the century!

After a few hours of working on what I had asked him to do, Julian told me that he had already found the member of Alchemy's cult, but that he had also called the CCPD to arrest me. As expected, I did not like to know the second part of the news, so I did what I thought was the most correct at that moment and prepared to kill him. However, as soon as I prepared to do what I had planned, Flash appeared.

- Stop!

- Get out of here.- said Barry.

- What are you doing? Take her out ... Take her out.- said Julian.

- You don't want to do this. You don't want to hurt anybody .... Caitlin?

- Leave me alone.

- What are you doing?

- I have to find Alchemy.

- We will find him ... Together!

- No, you don't understand. I don't want to lock him up, I need him to help me.

- Help you? On what?

- I need him to get rid of my powers.

- I don't know if it works that way.

- You don't know if that it doesn't.

- I know that we love you ... I love you ... And we are going to do everything that we can to help you. You and I, we've been through too much together to let each other down now. Please let me help you ...

- Like you helped your mother?

- Caitlin ...

- Or Wally ... or me! You keep messin wiht everyone's lives, wrecking everything and we were left behind to pick up the pieces from your mistakes. Some things you break, can't be put back together.

- I can fix this.

- Oh, like you fixed Cisco's family? You dind't tell Cisco that you screwed him worst of all, did you? You hear that Cisco? Dante was alive, healthy and happy until Barry created flashpoint. When he reset things that's what killed him. Barry is the reason your brother is dead!

- Albert's down ... Shot her.- said a cop.

As soon as he and his friends started shooting at both of us, Barry saved me, however I had to find the alchemy so I stuck a small spear of ice in Barry's leg and left, leaving him alone, bleeding. Then, I went after one of the acolytes, Craig. Upon arriving, I threatened the man's family, forcing him to comply. He informed me that he didn't know where Alchemy was, or who he was, but only that Alchemy was merely another acolyte of Savitar who had shown them the future where, among other things, I had become Killer Frost. However, before I could press for more info on how to take away my powers, Vibe arrived and, like Barry, attempted to talk me down.

- Really, you brought you're toys?

- I'm hopping it won't come to that.- said Cisco.- Look I'm not leaving you out here. I want to help you.

- There is only one person who can help me.

- Really? Do you really think that seeking advice from someone named Dr. Alchemy is the way to go?

- Why not? My name is Killer Frost!

- You're name is Caitlin Snow.

- Can Cailtin Snow do this? - I asked while forming ice poles to shoot Cisco.

The fight between me and Cisco started and I was even at an advantage, since he still hadn't put on his glasses that turned him into Vibe, he managed to hide behind a tree. However, when he started shooting blue rays at me, out of nowhere Flash appears, who joins the fight. In order to stop Flash, I threw ice onto the road, causing it to slide.

- How is the leg? - I asked but with a quick movement, Barry got me to fall and I ended up lying next to him.

- I'm sorry, Caitlin.

- That was cold Flash ... But this is colder.

Unwilling to surrender, I gave Barry a kiss, using my powers to freeze him solid. Luckily, Cisco was fast enough to smite me with a Vibe burst, knocking me unconscious. Upon waking up in the Pipeline, I attempted to convince Team Flash that I was back to normal, to no avail. Not long after, Barry returned to my side, but this time to ask me for help.

- We need your help, Caitlin. Wally is out of the cocoon but his biochemistry is all of whack, he went AWOL.

- Only?

- So when we find him, he's going to need your help. He's going to need your medical expertise, your experience with metas. What he needs is Caitlin Snow MD.

- So you came to try and talk some sense into me ...

-I came to let you go.- Barry said opening the cell door.

- For a smart guy, that was an offly dumb move.

- Like I said, you are free to go.

- What's the catch?

- You have to kill me!

- You want to fight, Flash?

- No, I'm not going to fight you, but if you wanto to leave this room, you're gonna have to kill me.

- Don't think I won't.

- Then do it.- he said and I threatened to do so, producing an icicle and I leaned it against his chest.

- What are you wating for? What's the big deal? Come on live up to your name, Killer Frost, I want to see some killing. You want to be the villainous, this is what they do, they kill theirs friends, because nothing matters to them anymore, right? Right? Come on, kill me, Caitlin.

At this point, there was an internal struggle, because part of me wanted to stick this icicle in Barry's chest and kill him once and for all ... this was the Killer Frost part, but the other part of me, I wanted to control the powers and finally be able to return to be Caitlin Snow, his best friend, who happens to be completely in love with him.

- You can't do it ... You can't! Because underneath that cold, your still you.- he said and seconds later I managed to become Caitlin Snow again.

- Barry ...- I sighed as I hugged him.

- It's okay .... I got you ... It's okay.

After all this, putting the necklace back on and apologizing to the rest of the team, I decided it was best to go home and rest. Barry still wanted to accompany me home and although I told him I could go alone, he insisted and I ended up accepting his company.

I can't believe the things I did while under Killer Frost's control! How am I supposed to continue my work at STAR Labs without harming my friends? I could have killed them today and if that happened, I wouldn't be able to live with that giant weight on my shoulders. As soon as we got to my door, Barry, without saying a word, just hugged me.

"It will be all right, we will find a way to help you," said Barry, whispering in my ear as he hugged me.

Despite being a complicated mission, I believe that with the help of my friends I will be able to find a solution to my problem and that is what makes me more optimistic about the future.

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