Status Quo

Chapter 17 - We'll Just Have To See

"I can't believe you did that" Shantele says again and let's out a sound that is the mixture of a laugh and a snort which I can never understand how she does.

"Me either" I say and put a hand to my heart that hadn't stopped beating erratically since morning, "I thought someone was going to stand up to me and stop me but they all kept quiet and just watched"

"I'd have choked on my own spit if it were me" Shantele says and closes her locker, "I have to go for choir club and I bet you need to go cheerleading, good luck"

"Bye you crazy girl that I love so much" I call after her as she walks down the hall and I the other way, towards the female locker room. The first person I see when I walk in is Flinette, "hey sis"

"Hey you" she replies as she pulls on the cheerleading top, "heard about this morning"

"I bet you did" I say and look at her with a smug smile, "what did you think?"

"Well, I think you're a crazy psycho to make two friends do that but knowing the reason why I fully support you" she replies casually like the idea of me bullying people doesn't bother her.

"Don't you feel that it's wrong to bully others?" I ask her as I strip off my clothes and pull out my cheerleading outfit from my locker and throw it on a bench.

"I do sometimes, believe me" Flinette admits, "but do you know what I do to bury the feeling?"

"What?" I ask as I pull on the skirt and wince at how short it is before I correct myself.

"I think of how the said bullied kids would behave had they been put in a seat of power like mine, sure you could say that there are a lot of people who would behave differently" Flinette replies and closes her locker, "but those kind of people don't exist in this town and school so it doesn't affect me anymore" she walks out of the locker room with me right behind her.

"Thanks for the advice Flin" I say sincerely, we walk into the auditorium and for the first time since Friday, I set my eyes on Renae. My lips twitch and so do my eyes, "it really gives me more determination to go on"

*

I drop my bag on my bed and stretch my weary muscles, sometimes Flinette can be a bit too much when she wants to get a task done. I look at my reflection in the mirror and groan at the sight of my hair tangled from all the sweat that has now dried, my eyeliner became smudged and my mascara has come off.

Deciding I need a bath, I take off my clothes and head into the shower. I stop short before I reach the door because something catches my eye in the mirror. I move closer to the mirror and push back my hair to get a closer look.

To the left of my forehead is a light pink scar that hasn't faded yet, I run my hand on the surface and recollect how I got the scar. It was from when I fell down the stairs trying to reach Adaira, I had to get twelve stitches and even though the doctors promised the scar would fade, it never did.

I remember how self conscious I was when I got the scar, I didn't pack my hair up again after that day and even when I did I never packed it fully, I always left a bit of hair by the side to cover it up. How did I manage to miss that scar when I always looked at my face every day.

It must be true that the eyes of a blind man choose to see only what he wants to see. A bitter laugh escapes my lips as I keep running my finger along the length of the scar. I stop immediately I feel tears at the brink of my eyes, I wipe them off immediately. I hate that I always cry, the feeling of weakness it gives me, the way it makes me want to give up and have compassion and pity, I wont have that, I don't want that. I need something that will break me, something that will make me stop crying.