Status Quo

Chapter 37 - Tear Drops

I've read countless war novels and even watched my fair share of movies that involved spilling of blood and to be honest I always wondered how they could move past the death of someone so easily, to be honest it irked me that they saw the life of someone as something that can be thrown away easily.

I can't count the amount of times I have woken up and then been sedated immediately after because whenever I opened my eyes I would always start screaming and crying because it always felt more real the more they rushed to sedate me, it only proved that my baby sister is gone and not in the she went out or travelled and wont be back in a while but the gone that I know that I would never ever ever see her again, not even if I slit my wrists and tried to join her in limbo.

I've been crying nonstop and can hardly breathe through my nose because it's now blocked with snot. I can't find my voice because I lost it screaming and my wrists have been bound to the sides of the bed because I attempted slitting my wrist with my acrylic nails. The doctors knew I was going to try that because Flinette had tried the exact same thing.

I keep staring into space, I don't even know what to do, I hate myself so much right now because if I had only been more responsible then she wouldn't have been alone and I would have stopped her from running down those steps.

My mom hasn't come to see me yet, probably because she hates me or she's too busy with the preparations for Adaira's funeral. Unlike a lot of families, mine buries our dead the next day, when the person still looks like the person, without those chemicals and whatsnot.

The hospital will probably release me and assign a nurse to watch over me so I don't get myself into a dangerous situation that will lead to me being hospitalized.

I look at the clock and watch it strike 8, a nurse walks in and after watching me and deciding that I am calm enough to be released from the restraints, let's me go and I walk slowly towards the room where they kept Flinette.

I stop outside her door as I hear Andre's voice inside, comforting her and telling her that it's all going to be okay while she hurls all kind of profanities that even I didn't know existed at him. She must be really hurt to be saying such words to Andre.

I'm scared to open the door, what if she looks at me with contempt and hatred because I'm responsible for all of this. The door opens abruptly and I jump in my spot, a red eyed Flinette stares at me and immediately pulls me in for a hug.

"Promise me you wont leave me also" she says and starts crying and I also start crying as well while nodding my head continuously.

"I'm so sorry" I whisper and she nods her head like she understands what I'm feeling.

"It's not your fault because I know that's what you're thinking" She whispers and it just makes me cry harder, "None of this would have happened if Renae wasn't a bad person" she whispers.

I stop crying momentarily and the only thing that enters my head is Renae. "We'll make her pay" my sister whispers into my ear and rubs my hair soothingly.

I nod my head slowly as all of Renae's past crimes that I had managed to bury deep down into the back of my head resurface and bring along with them a terrible headache.

Flinette looks at my face, "Shaze, Jossie's looking pale, can you take her to her room?"

It's then I notice that Shaze was also in Flinette's room, sitting in the corner, watching me bawl my eyes like a baby. He stands up and Flinette steps back from me and when he comes close enough I run into his arms and resume my crying in their comfort.

He kisses the top of my head soothingly and I revel in the warmth it sends down my spine and down to my toes. His hand goes down to the back of my knees and he carries me up bridal style and starts walking in the direction of my room.

He opens the door with his foot and walks to the bed before laying me down on it gently, all the while not taking his eyes off mine. I bet I look like a mess with my red and puffy eyes along with my hair that probably looks like a rats nest right now.

He kisses my forehead once more and when he attempts to stand I hug him and hold him down. He shifts uncomfortably because he's bent over me and I figure his back might begin to hurt from the position.

"Don't go" I croak because my voice has gotten hoarse from all the crying and screaming.

"I'm right here" he says and I loosen my grip on him, allowing him to stand straight. He sits by the edge of my bed and as I look at him I remember all the times he would play with Adaira so that I had the chance to study while Flinette would be out doing cheerleading stuff.

My eyes brim with tears once more and I feel choked because everything reminds me of her, "It hurts so much" I cry and Shaze rubs my hands comfortingly.

He pulls me slowly into his lap and I snuggle into his chest and cling to the fabric of his shirt as a fresh onslaught of tears begin to run down my face. He rocks me back and forth like he would do to a baby and it only makes me miss my baby sister even more.

"Why did she have to go?" I ask Shaze

"I don't know" he says and starts stroking my hair in a bid to soothe me.

"Why did they have to take her?" I ask. I know that there are no logical answers to the questions but I feel like I would explode if I don't ask them even though asking them wont bring her back anyways.

"You need to sleep" he says and puts me to bed, I grab his hands as he tries to pull the cover up to my chest, he sighs and slips into the bed beside me and pulls me to his chest where I snuggle once more.

He continues stroking my hair and the rhythm of it makes me drowsy, like an unsung lullaby that only I can hear.

AN

Yeah yeah, I know it's a short chapter but I just wanted to explain the pain that people feel when losing a loved one.

I've lost a few myself so I know the pain.

Also did y'all catch those demonic whispering Flinette did or was it only me? Okay then.

Till Wednesday

Tata!!