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#TPTG21

"Is it true mom?" I gulped. "Totoo bang anak ako sa labas?"

Nakatalikod si mama sa'kin ngayon mula sa veranda.

Simula nung nalaman ko kay papa ang totoo ay para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. I was drunk, but I heard everything alright? I know what he said. That's why, I confronged my mom right away. Gusto ko nang malaman kung ano ba talaga yung totoo. Ayoko yung pinagmumukha pa kong tanga.

She slowly turned around and faced me. "Fey..." she called softly

"Mom, please. Just tell me the truth. I deserve to know," I begged

She looked at me with so much pity in her eyes.

"You are my daughter Fey," she softly said. "But...he's not your biological father."

It still hurts. It's still fucking hurts to the core.

"Why? Why did you keep this from me? After all these years, ma?" pagod kong sabi

Napailing lang siya sabay iwas ng tingin. "I didn't mean to keep it a secret from you. I'm sorry anak..."

"Sorry? Sorry lang? You think that one sorry can heal all the pain I've felt these past few years?" my voice broke. I bit my lip and took a deep breath. "Where's my real dad?"

She looked at me apologetically, her eyes filled with sadness and longing. "He's dead Fey."

Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. Nanikip bigla ang dibdib ko sa narinig.

My lips parted as I shook my head, refused to believe her. "No...hindi pwede."

"I'm sorry—"

"Tell me that's not true mom. Please tell me," my voice began to shake

Umiwas ulit siya ng tingin at pumikit ng mariin.

I bit my lip and clenched my fist. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala sa nalaman ko. My mind can't seem to comprehend everything. I didn't expect any of this. Fuck. My life was lie!

"Your real father died because of an illness. Hindi mo na siya naabutan dahil sanggol ka palang. We were poor back then. Dalaga lang din ako nun nung pinagbubuntis kita. Hindi ko alam kung paano kita palalakihin. Nagalit pa sa'kin ang lola mo nun. She wanted me to sent you to an orphanage. I refuse. Kahit mahirap, tiniis ko."

My heart shattered into a million pieces. I couldn't even breath properly.

"Then I met the governor. Siya ang nagligtas sa'tin sa kahirapan. We fell in love with each other but we didn't get married. He didn't care if I had a child with another man. He still accepted me..."

Habang nagkwekwento siya ay inaalala niya ang mga nangyari.

"Pero noon yun. Ang dami nang nagbago. After a few years, he was blinded by wealth and power. He changed eversince he became the governor. Nagbago nadin ang tingin niya sa'kin. Naalala ko na gusto niya na tayo palayasin sa bahay. I begged him not too. I begged for the sake of you...dahil hindi ko alam kung saan tayo dadamputin kung palalayasin niya tayo." She looked at me again, her eyes glistened in tears. "You were just an innocent girl back then, still growing. I want you to have  a bright future, to have a good education. Na lumaking walang hirap."

My vision became blurry 'cause of the tears. Tumingala ko upang hindi tumulo ang luha. I can't cry right now. I need to understand everything. I can't let my emotions take over me.

"Fey, anak. I'm sorry," she sincerely said. "I just want you to have a better life—"

"Mukha bang masaya ako sa buhay ko?!" mangiyak-ngiyak kong sabi. Lumandas na ang luha sa mata ko.

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