Tests

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"If you wanna shoot me... SHOOT ME!"

Tests.

Day in. Day out. 

Tests were all I knew now. 

Syringes and medication. The beeping of hospital monitors. The scratchy bedsheets in the hospital wing. Constant guards in front and behind me. 

And memories. They were the worst part. 

I sat in the monitor room. This room had computers everywhere, each screen projecting a different part of the maze and glade. It had been a while since my closest friends were ripped away from me. It's been a while since nightmares of Newt filled my mind. They were always the same. 

We'd be in a long hallway, I'd be in a long white gown and he'd be in a black tux. And he'd just repeat the same sentence. "You never actually cared, you liar." I'd wake up, my eyes swollen and damp with tears. 

But I stopped having those when Ava, she wasn't a mother to me anymore, let me come in here with Thomas to watch the gladers. Every day it was almost the same. Get up, get breakfast, go do their jobs, then dinner. But today was the worst of all of them. 

Typically, Newt and Minho would partner up to go inside the maze. The two of them were best friends and were both runners. But it was early today. The sun was barely up outside when my mind woke me up and wouldn't let me go back to sleep, so I decided to go to the monitor room. I sat down in the wheely chair in front of the normal computer. 

I watched as a figure started sprinting from the homestead, that's what they called the place where they'd slept, to the maze doors. They had to have just opened. I pressed some buttons on the keyboard to zoom in. It was Newt. Thomas had come in shortly after me. He watched as well as Newt disappeared into the maze. 

Frantically, I moved around the rooms looking at each computer to find him. My heart pounded against my chest as I watched him crawl up a wall of ivy. My mind knew what was about to happen but my heart couldn't accept it. 

"Thomas!" I yelled at him. He came running over to where I was. He placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. The silence was thick between us and I could almost hear his thoughts. 

Then he jumped.

I screamed.

Thomas tried to calm me down.

I screamed louder. 

"NEWT!" My voice pierced the air like knives. And my soul shattered. I didn't dare look back at the monitor. I kept screaming until my throat was sore. Then I screamed some more. 

Guards and Ava rushed in all at once. Some grabbed at me, picking me up around the waist as I kicked and screamed in hysterics. Ava tried to calm me down. 

"Y/N, sweetie, calm down."

"DONT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN YOU BITCH." I screamed over and over and over again. "NEWT PLEASE! PLEASE. NO NO NO NO NO." I yelled as if he could hear me. As if he would rise up and walk again. As the guards were carrying me out, I peeked back over my shoulder to see him one last time even though I knew I would regret it. But all I saw were the pitch-black screens. They'd been shut off. 

I wiggled and squirmed in the arms of the guard and I could feel myself start slipping. "Ma'am!" He called to Ava. "She's getting free." Ava cursed under her breath looking around frantically as if the answer would pop into the air. 

Then she looked at me but I didn't look at her. I screamed and screamed and screamed. I'd just watched my closest friend die right in front of me and I was powerless to stop it. 

"Swipe her."

"Pardon?" The guard asked in repulsion. 

"Swipe her memory. She's going into the glade."

Tears threatened to spill but I choked them back. Almost like someone was looking after me, gunshots filled the hall. I perked my head up. The guards stiffened in their posts, still unmoving. 

I slid off the covers of the hospital bed revealing my loose white shirt and white pants. I flung my legs off the bed, my bare feet hitting the cool floor. 

"Miss," One of the guards spoke up as I stood. "You're supposed to stay in bed."

"I don't give a shit." I snapped at him. My fist balled in my hands but I didn't want them to. I shook my head and they released themselves. Oh god, I'm going insane. 

She has the flare.

Doctor after doctor had told me. 

I'd have chronic headaches and random outbursts of anger. Coughing, and gagging every hour. I'd had every symptom and yet part of me thought I was special. That I wouldn't truly go past the gone. I don't know why I thought that, I just did. 

"I don't care if you care or not," The guard said again. "It's orders." 

The anger was quick, like a bullet. And unstoppable. I brought my knee up to where the sun doesn't shine, in one quick but painful kick making him topple in on himself. The other three guards reacted quickly pointing their guns at me. 

I raised my arms playfully. My world spun and it was like I was watching what was happening at a movie theater. I wasn't in control of my own body. The flare controlled it and I was powerless.

"Oh come on boys!" I taunted. "If you wanna shoot me... SHOOT ME!" I screamed- the flare screamed. They didn't, of course. It gave me, well my body, time to take them all out, one by one. You just had to kick them in their manly-hood. Seriously, it works like a charm. It also provided me with a gun. 

I cracked my neck as I walked up to the door to leave. Everything was going crazy. It was as if someone had grabbed me sitting in the movie theater and shoved me back into my body. I snapped back into normality. Well, kind of. There was no guilt towards the men who were withering on the floor like dying warms in the sun. It was just... whatever. 

I pressed my foot to the glass door and kicked it down, guns became louder and louder. As I walked out I looked to my left and right to make sure no one was coming. When I looked to my right one final time my heart skipped as I saw a blur of navy blue run past. I ducked back into the room, my sweaty palm holding onto the gun. My breathing was heaving and my head became dizzy. I slid my back down the wall until I hit the ground. 

Then I felt someone's hand land on my shoulder. I looked up and for a moment I thought it was the flare making me hallucinate. 

"Minho," I smiled weakly at him.

"Oh god, Y/N. You look awful, Shank." I smacked him on the arm.

"Thanks," I said. He furrowed his eyes and looked at me sadly. It was as if he knew exactly what was happening. And he might have. I probably looked awful. There wasn't a mirror around but I could picture it. My hair in knots, my eyes red and glossy with tears. 

He stuck an arm under me and heaved me up. "Y/N," He said as I stood up. "Y/N, look at me." I turned my head to look at him. "I think Thomas and Newt are here." My face lit up and it was if strength just flooded back into me. I had a reason to keep going again. "We need to find them and get out of here. Cool?"

I smiled as feeling to my legs and arms came back. "Cool." 

He smiled back at me. I picked up the gun I had dropped earlier. We both nodded to each other before we ran out of the doors again. 

To find our family.

Again.

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