Racing Desires

47. Trust

A/N: This chapter will have changing POV's, so don't get confused

Kiara's POV:

*****4 Days later*****

Dean has been trying his hardest to convince me of his love the last four days. At the moment I'm not quite sure what to believe. My heart wants to believe him so badly, but my trust in people has been shredded to pieces in the last couple of months. Brad, Nora, my parents, Dean, they have all shredded it.

There's no doubt I miss and love him so much. We're going to be parents, but can I look past what happend with Nadine? He keeps on telling me there's a reason for all of this and I'm to trust him, then again, he doesn't give me a single clue on what's going on. Or what exactly happend between him and Nadine.

Apparently, it's too early to tell me anything about the whole thing going on. What does it mean when he says it was all fake? Did he still have sex with her? What did they do together? These and many more questions lingering on my mind he just doesn't answer.

He keeps on repeating the only thing that counts at the moment, is for me to know he loved me all along and never wanted to hurt me. But this isn't enough for me, I can't deal with the thought of him sleeping with her. Whether it was fake feelings or not.

Dean kisses me on my forehead a few times a day, as much as I want to feel his lips on mine. And I know he wants to kiss me properly but I can't do it with so much being unclear.

Besides I still need to deal with all the pain from my injuries. Even trying to endure as much as I can to prevent the babies being at too much risk from all the drugs they pump into me again and again, they still have to sedate me in between. Sometimes when I'm in too much pain and crying the heart rate of both babies go up too.

On Dean's face I can see how he's suffering with me.

When the doctors told me the whole extent of my injuries I was shocked, even more than that. It scares the shit out of me, I might never be able to use my legs again or will at least most likely keep some strong damages back. They've already come up with ordering a wheelchair for me, which was hard to deal with. Even once everything is fully healed I'll probably have to use it for at least a while. But I'm determined to fight and gain as much back as possible.

Whatever comes I know I can deal with it, like I've always dealt with things in life. It will just take me a while to wrap my mind around it all. Then there's the fact, that Dean is freaking out as he's sure this was an attack against me. He keeps on harassing the security guards.

Jeez I'm still on the ICU, what does he think is going to happen here? Any visitor wanting to attend the ward has to register with a nurse anyway. Seriously he's driving me nuts with his paranoid protocols everyone has to keep to. Yesterday one of the guards was sick and the new one had to go through a decent background check before being allowed to be here.

There are three guards outside my door 24/7.

"Don't you think three guards are a little much?", Dean looks up from his laptop shaking his head at me.

"Honey no, I'm not risking any shit to happen again. They had everything figured out, they knew exactly when and where to target you. If they could do it out there, I'm sure they could do it in here too. Especially since the media has gotten hold of which hospital you're in. I've not even figured out how they got hold of that information as I gave strict advice for no one to spill."

One thing I'm still able to do without any pain, is roll my eyes. "Even I can figure that one out. You're smart but so dumb at times."

"Well spill, as I'm obviously too dumb", he seems a little amused with my attitude.