"I've waited for him to come to me and talk about what's going on, but he keeps avoiding me. I wonder if I did something wrong, or if I said something that bothered him. Whatever thing is, it's taking my friendship with Yuta away, and I won't let th...
As I'm peeking inside the dining room, it's evident that Yuta has other plans on mind for tonight. I was about to ask him to stay the night with me, but I guess that Taeyong-hyung also had that idea. Right now, I can't keep my eyes off them, both looking happily at each other while Yuta shows his notes to Taeyong. It isn't right for me to feel this way, but I can't deny that I don't feel upset.
I have to get out of here before I lose my temper completely.
I took a deep breath before walking away from the entrance, immediately going upstairs without hesitation. I walked through the hallway until standing in front of my room, shortly opening the door to get inside. I shut the door and jumped on my bed, then holding a pillow between my arms. The upsetting part of tonight is that I don't understand the reason behind my behavior, and the feeling of frustration is starting to hit me. There was nothing I could do to keep myself calm, so I gradually let my tears drop. I placed my head against the pillow, trying to lower the volume of my sobs.
Briefly, the door from the bedroom got opened again. I tried to stay silent, not wanting Haechan to hear me crying. However, I failed once small hiccups started to blare the room.
-Hyung, are you okay? – Haechan asked, confused. Then, he sat next to me while waiting for an answer.
-Yes, yes, everything's okay. – I spoke, my voice cracking slightly.
-Why are you lying? I can hear that you are crying. Why? What happened? – Haechan insisted while moving my body back and ford. But I didn't respond and kept cuddling against the pillow.
Haechan sighed before getting out of the room; I didn't care and continued to sob quietly. I'm not sure the reason behind my tears. But I feel frustrated and confused by the sudden changes that are happening inside me. As my sobs began to get slightly louder, the door eventually opened again.
-I don't know what happened. I came inside and saw Mark-hyung lying on the bed while crying. – Haechan explained to someone, and suddenly, I felt a soft touch against my back and arm.
-Mark, Mark, are you alright? – I heard Yuta's voice, making my eyes widen immediately.
-I'll leave you alone, hyung. – Haechan said.
-Yes, thank you, Haechan. – Yuta answered before Haechan got out of the bedroom, leaving us alone.
-Mark, what happened? Hey, say something, please. – Yuta worriedly spoke.
-I'm alright. – I said before clearing out my throat, attempting to talk without struggles. -I'm okay. Haechan is only exaggerating. – I pointed out, trying to get my way out of this situation.
Yuta frustratedly sighed before holding my arm and turning me around, making me face him with my teary eyes.
-Ah, babe. – Yuta looked at me, concerned. Then, he held me tightly against him, making me break down even more. I didn't return the hug, which caused Yuta to notice my reaction to his affection. Immediately, he got apart from me, looking confused. -What's wrong? Did I make you cry? – Yuta questioned.
-No, no, I'm sorry. – I stuttered while looking at Yuta, trying to control the slight hiccups. -I'm getting used to everything between us. We were always close, but I never knew my feelings until recently. And I'm not sure of what I want sometimes. – I admitted, feeling embarrassed by the words I said.
-Is it too soon for you to start something between us? Do you want to take a break? It's okay if you need so, Mark. – Yuta said, not minding that he was going against his desires.
I shook my head gently, then holding Yuta's face with my hand. I stared at the man in front of me while wondering what I did to deserve someone like him. Briefly, I kissed his cheek and tried to calm down my emotions.
-I guess changing is part of the learning curve. Right? Maybe we shouldn't move on from the way we used to act when we weren't together. After all, it isn't necessary to think about each other so much and worry for nothing. – I deduced, thinking about the concerns I have inside. I didn't even realize that I talked without analyzing my words.
The silence filled the lack of words, briefly noticing how Yuta separated from me. He looked away and sat down on the edge of the bed. Now, it seems that my words hurt him somehow.
-When I said that you changed, I didn't mean to make you feel worried. You are still yourself with the rest of the members. But every time you are with me, I perceive you differently in a "good" way. – Yuta disclosed while looking at his hands as he moves his fingers. Briefly, I saw a tear running down his cheek, making my eyes widen.
I hurt him. I did.
-Yuta, you don't have to feel responsible for my insecurities. I promise to improve but don't take anything that I said to heart. – I spoke, feeling sorry after talking without a filter.
My boyfriend smiled before looking at me; he removed the tears from my face with his thumb. He held my cheek, then kissing my head, and briefly stood up from the bed. He walked towards the door and opened it.
-Yuta! – I called out his name, but he got out of the room. -I'm sorry. – I sighed before looking down at the mattress.
-Why did you say that, Mark? – I questioned, feeling upset with myself.
*The next day*
We are at the studio, inside one of the practice rooms. NCT 127 will have another interview today, and right now, everyone is setting everything in the right place. For now, the members are talking and walking around the practice room. However, I'm searching for Yuta since he came to the agency before anyone else. He needed to work on details for his EP, so he took his motorbike to get here. I'm worried to see if he made it without issues; after all, what happened last night, affected both of us.
I texted Yuta some minutes ago, but I haven't heard any reply from his side. I'm not used to feeling this anxious, but I'm trying to endure it since my fellow members are right next to me.
I have to check on Yuta. If I stay here, I'm going to go crazy.
Without hesitation, I walked out of the room and started to look around the corridor. Briefly, I moved further away from the practice room, searching for my man. But as the distance began to become larger, my worries did too. Briefly, I saw him getting out from a meeting room, making me sigh in relief.
No accidents, right. Yuta always says that he knows how to ride his motorbike, but I still worry about him.
I stood there, in the middle of the hallway, waiting for Yuta to come my way. Shortly, he turned around and saw me, his face full of surprise and slight sorrow. Then, he walked towards my spot and faced me.
-Hi. – Yuta said, slightly apprehensive.
-Hi. – I answered back, talking to Yuta sweetly.
-I'll get going. – Yuta spoke before passing right next to me, but I held his arm, stopping him from moving any further.
