Raven (Fred x oc)

54. Summer Pains

"Hey Dad," I said, trying to smile as I set aside my bags.

"Raven," he replied, quickly getting to his feet and rushing over to me. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm all right," I replied. Looking over his shoulder, I said, "Remus." I hugged him too and soon we were all sitting together. Khadija had gone off to give me some space, but I almost wished she was here now.

"How's Harry?" Remus asked.

"Not well," I replied with a sigh. "But honestly...I can't blame him."

"Have you slept at all?" Dad asked. I shook my head.

"I can't," I admitted. After a long pause, I looked up and saw two figures. One was Khadija and the other was a woman who seemed to be sobbing.

"Please," she said. Her sobs turned into wails as I stood to face her. Dad watched curiously as I held up my hand and moved closer to her. The moment she passed through, I winced. The more I allowed them to pass on the worse the pain for me became.

"Another one?" Dad asked.

Sitting back down, I said, "You have no idea the number of tortured souls that are wandering the earth. I have to allow every soul in Western Europe since the moment my mom died. They haven't had a way to cross over." After a long pause, I said, "I'm going to try and get some sleep. I'll see you both later."

Their worried looks were not missed by me as I headed upstairs and to my old room. Once I was in bed, I lay awake with my eyes open. The truth was I didn't want to see what I perpetually saw whenever I closed my eyes, but eventually my exhaustion took over and I drifted off.

The graveyard loomed sorrowful and cold as I stood in front of a gravestone. Looking up, I saw the name: Tom Riddle. I paled. Turning, I spotted the last person I expected.

Harry stood before me, his face cold and angry. He was as bruised and scarred as he had been the night of the...incident. "Harry?" I said, taking a step towards him.

His eyes focused on me and his expression soured as he spat, "Black. Little bold of you to come here, is it not? Weren't so brave then, were you? Coward."

"Harry," I whispered, tears forming. "Harry I tried but-"

"You watched and did nothing as Cedric was killed. You watched and did nothing as I was tortured. You watched and did nothing as Voldemort came back! You are the reason he's back! You and your cowardice!"

"No," I whispered fearfully, taking a step back from him. "It's not my fault. It's not my fault. It's not my fault." I turned away from him, my head in my hands as I repeated that over and over. "Harry this isn't my fault." I turned back and instantly had to hold back a scream.

"Ah, the legendary Valerie," Voldemort drawled. "The reason for my success."

"No," I whispered, my voice high pitched and terrified. "No no no, not again!" He came towards me. "NO STOP GET AWAY FROM ME! NOT AGAIN!"

"CRUCIO!"

I screamed, louder than I ever had in my life.

"Valerie!" a voice cried, waking me. I gasped, my eyes shooting open. I took several harsh breaths, not caring to see who it was who had wakened me.

"It was him," I breathed fearfully. "V- he-who-must-not-be-named. H-he and Harry both said it was my fault. I'm the reason he's back."

"Raven, no," Dad countered.

"If I wasn't such a coward I could have stopped him!" I screamed. Silence resounded for a moment as Dad looked at me with pity. "I hid behind a gravestone while Harry was having to face him. A little boy was able to do what I could not."

"There's nothing you could've done," Dad countered gently.

"I could've run out and stopped him," I said sorrowfully.

"And gotten yourself killed?" Dad said. I couldn't say anything. "Raven, look at me. None of this is your fault. You and Harry both did what you could to survive. Voldemort-" I flinched "-kept you alive because he underestimated you."

"How did he underestimate me?" I countered. "I didn't do anything to him or any of them."

"You allowed the Potters and Cedric to be at peace, Raven," Dad said. "Does that mean nothing to you?"

"Why did this have to happen?" I asked quietly. "Why did this happen to me? Why now? All I ever wanted was to be able to live with you and now..."

"Valerie, the moment this is all over and my name is cleared that will happen permanently," he promised. "But now we get to spent the entire summer together."

"Sirius." I looked up. Dumbledore was in the doorway. "I need to speak with you."

"I'll be back, Raven," Dad promised. "Try and get some more rest, okay?" I nodded sadly but let him go without a word.

.........................................................

The clock in the hall struck midnight, causing me to look up. I was still awake. In front of me I saw that Khadija had appeared. "I can't right now," I said wearily. "It's too much."

"I didn't bring another spirit with me," she said, sitting down next to me. "Val, you need to take some time, okay? You're not all right."

"I know," I said.

After a moment, Khadija said, "Valerie, it wasn't your fault, you just felt helpless. Helplessness is not cowardice. How do you think we felt?" From the shadows, Leo and Ebony appeared. I had sent the others on earlier.

"Val, it wasn't your fault," Leo said. "I saw the entire thing and there was nothing you could've done."

"I wish that was true," I said quietly. Each of them looked at me with pity and sat down next to me, being careful not to touch me.

"We're here," Ebony said, giving me a small smile.