Pop-Up Store 정호석

Chapter 34

It's Not Your Fault

Sitting across her with his hair blowing and fluttering in the wind was Hoseok. He had his heart-shaped smile shining brightly at her as he took a sip of his coffee. Gayoung, however, could not bring herself to smile as brightly as he did.
She had her head hung low as she stared at her bracelet. She played with each and every violet, lilac and iris bead on the bracelet as Yeona's confession scene played in her head like a cassette tape. She had played it in her head for the hundreds of times but her body was still in a state of shock. How could Yeona like her? She never came out and she was her closest friend. Nothing made sense.

"What's on your mind?"

"Nothing, it's just-"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked when I knew you weren't over the incident. I wanted to help but I forgot that I'm not a therapist, I'm not anyone,"

Hoseok muttered, looking down and playing with his fingers. The wave of guilt was building up and he felt suffocated. He felt like he had caused pain instead of helping.

"No, it's ok. It's not your fault,"

Gayoung muttered, not even looking up. She kept playing with the beads on her bracelet, hesitating to take off the bracelet.

"I don't know if this helps but... you're not alone. So many people have unfortunately been through similar experiences and some of them continue to live in agony while others find their happiness again,"

Hoseok muttered, looking up to see Gayoung still staring down at her bracelet. He felt his own nose sting as he continued,

"I don't want this experience to cause you a life-long of pain. because it's not your fault. The clothes you wore, the alleyway you chose to take, they don't provide a reason for what happened to you. Shitty people with shitty intentions were the reason,"

Hoseok's nose flared at the thought of the horrible people capable of horrible ignitions. Then, he heard a small whimper from Gayoung. A single tear trickled down her cheek as she remained quiet. He could almost feel her self-hatred.

"However, just blaming it on the shitty people isn't enough. You need to know that not all people are like that. It may be scary to trust people after what had happened to you but you need to take a step and realise that if you keep living in this world where everyone seems like a predator, only you are going to be in pain,"

Hoseok continued, his voice wavering as tears started welling up in his eyes as well. Gayoung was now sobbing into her hands as her body shook in pain. Hoseok clenched his jaw and tried to suppress his tears as he went on,

"You might or might not want me to help you but I want you to protect yourself while still living a happy and fearless life. I want to make your pain temporary. Like a pop-up store."

A gush of tears now ran down both Hoseok and Gayoung's face. Gayoung covered her face in shame as she sobbed into her hands continuously. Hoseok, however, leaned forward and took her hands away from her face. Through choked sobs, Hoseok muttered,

"Don't be embarrassed of showing your pain to others. Cry, cry as much as you want. Let all that shame, anger and pain out. Maybe after this, you'll feel happier. Because it's not your fault. So, you shouldn't pay the price of shitty actions made by shitty people."