Kiss It Better, Dr. Ross

A New Life After

You just say the word and I will come swiftly
I'll past rocket ships, I'll leave them behind me
Without you, oh, oh, oh
I can not fly

~~~

(2 years later)

"Thank you, Dr. Ross." Ryan nodded with a smile as he wrote a prescription down for his patient.

"Now, just take this to the pharmacy and get that medication. Remember half a tablet in the morning and the other half at night. If the infection doesn't go away, feel free to come back and see me again." The patient nodded and followed Ryan out the room. With another thanks, she made her way toward the lobby to the exit.

Ryan went back to his crowded office, which he'd grown accustom too. He collapsed onto his desk chair and tapped on the keyboard to wake his computer. A picture of Brendon popped behind countless folders on the desktop. He starred at the photo he'd taken when the man was sleeping.

Brendon's face was half buried in the pillow. His hair was already tossed in every direction. His naked shoulder peaked out from under the blanket. And if you looked hard enough, which Ryan did, you could see the smallest of smiles pulling at the man's mouth. He would've spent more time staring if an email notification hadn't slid into the corner of the screen.

With a sigh, he sat up straight and clicked open his emails. There were plenty unopened messages he could've looked at first, but he turned his attention to the newest one. He clicked it open, seeing 'Dr. Gerard Way' as the sender. The first line was the same as it'd been for the past year.

'I don't care how long you ignore me, I'm not leaving you alone!'

Ryan rolled his eyes and shook his head with a smirk. He'd long stopped replying to these, finding the small talk pointless and exhausting, but Gerard insisted on updating him on what was going on in his life or even the hospital once a week.

'I should've guessed you wouldn't be at the wedding, but it's alright. I don't think Spencer was too upset about it. It was beautiful though. Lindsey looked gorgeous. Spencer was really happy. Anyways, I hope you're doing well. You should come back even if it's for a visit!'

Attached to the email were a few files that Ryan was hesitant to open. He worked up enough courage to move his cursor over the first file and clicked it. A photo of Spencer and his bride cutting their cake appeared. Ryan smile at how Spencer was watching Lindsey rather than the cake. He moved to the next picture, a white alter decorated with vines came up next. The view was far back enough to see guests already sitting, waiting for the ceremony to start.

He froze when he opened the third one. It was from the reception. At the front of the room was a table with the wedding party. There were five bridesmaids on Lindsey's side and four on Spencer's with one seat empty directly beside him.

Ryan wasn't sure what hurt more, the fact that Spencer left his best friend an open seat or that Brendon would've given anything to fill that spot. He closed out of the picture screens and leaned back in his chair. His eyes were on the screen, but his mind wandered off to the 'what ifs' if Brendon were still here. 

This wasn't uncommon for him to do. As a matter of fact, he'd done it so often, the nurses took turns going in and pulling him out of his mind everyday. And sure enough - knock, knock, knock.

"Dr. Ross." Ryan blinked a couple times before looking over at the nurse at the door. "It's 5:30. Some of us are headed out now." Ryan sat up and nodded.

"Thank you." After she left, he sat another half hour before leaving his office. He made his way to the reception desk where the last worker was putting on their jacket, getting ready to leave. They turned to the sound of Ryan's steps.

"Oh, Dr. Ross. The charts are over on the counter." Ryan nodded, moving straight to the stack waiting for him on the counter. When he was hired at the clinic, one of Ryan's requests was to do the paperwork at the end of the day. It was a boring task that no one liked doing. For Ryan however, it was a reason not to go home just yet. It was something to keep himself occupied from his thoughts.

Ryan sat at the same table they kept behind the reception desk, pulling out his pen and start working. The day was slow, so he made it through the charts within an hour. He trudged back to his office to gather his belongings before heading outside. 

The sun was already gone, leaving the moon to linger high in the sky. He hopping in his car and was out on the road. He stared straight, bored by the line of trees on either side of the two lane road. One hand rested on the top of the steering wheel, keeping the car straight. The other arm was propped on the door, a loose fist pressed against his temple. The radio was playing a soft piano, leaving the air calm in the car. Though he couldn't say the same for the noise in his head.

Tired thoughts circled around his head, questions begged to be answered. He clenched his fist around the steering wheel. This was normal, the anger slowly burning him up inside. His jaw clenched with the idea that whatever frustrating desires wanting to crawl out were trapped. There were no other cars on the road, allowing him to simmer in his emotions.

He had blinked his eyes more often and shook his head to keep himself concentrated on the road. Often, the edges of his vision would darken, making him repeat his process. He sat up straight and rubbed an eye to clear it. As he shifted to the other eye, a black mass pounced into the beams from his headlights.

It froze, staring at Ryan. He slammed his other hand on the wheel and jerked it to the right. His car flew off the road, speeding toward the trees. Before Ryan could fully process everything, his car slammed into one of the trees. His body whipped forward before his seatbelt stopped him and shot him back.

Ryan let out a groan, pain searing through his chest. He managed to get an eye open to see that one headlight was out and steam coming from under his hood all through the cracks in his windshield. He made to inspect his body but when he looked down, a pain resonated over his body.

"Fuck," he panted. He let his eyes fall close, wanting to focus on managing the pain in his body. It wasn't bad. Someone will drive down the road soon enough and find him. He should be fine, but damn was he getting tired. It seemed easier to fall asleep and deal with the pain later. A voice in his head screamed for him to stay conscious, but that voice was so small compared to the familiar one he'd been longing to hear again.

"Ryan."