Kiss It Better, Dr. Ross

You Knew

I wouldn't hold my breath if I was you
'Cause I'll forget but I'll never forgive you
Don't you know, don't you know?
True friends stab you in the front

~~~

Ryan wasn't sure what to do anymore. He couldn't think properly. Too many thoughts and emotions were running through his head. Somehow, he managed to get back to the hospital parking lot. A part of him knew he had to come back after leaving so unexpectedly. He robotically got out of his car and made his way inside.

Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. He couldn't process the faces of the people walking by him. That must've been a sight to see, a prestigious doctor walking around like a lost kid at the grocery store drenched from head to toe. He probably looked close to how he felt, a complete mess. Nothing says surgeon like dripping scrubs and bloodshot eyes. His soppy hair stuck out awkwardly from the countless times he ran his hand through it.

People needed to stop staring, stop whispering, give him space. He needed space to breath. He couldn't breath. Leave him alone. Or get him something. He was hurting. Give him something for his pain. Fuck! Why do people keep looking at him like he's crazy?

"Ryan." He shook his head, trudging down the hall. Ryan flinched when a hand grabbed his shoulder to spin him around. He kept his head low, eyes moving to the ID badge, struggling to read it. "Ryan, what's going on?"

"It... hurts," he panted in reply.

"What? Where?" The voice sounded more frantic. Ryan squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth.

"Everywhere." He opened his eyes and blinked a few times. The name on the badge slowly became clear. He looked up to see his friend's worried face. It was weird to see that rare expression. Normally, Jon was good at keeping a level head, regardless of the situation.

"What happened?" Ryan didn't answer or move as Jon gripped Ryan's arms, looking him up and down. "Ry, you have to tell me where. Tell me what happened," Jon urged.

"Brendon," Ryan mustered enough volume to just barely be heard. He felt Jon's grip tense on his arms.

"What about him?" His tone sounded more on edge, as if he had a secret that was almost out in the open. Ryan tilted his head and took a step out of Jon's reach. The man was no longer keeping eye contact with him. He accepted that Ryan wanted out of his reach, almost expected it actually.

"You..." Jon straightened up, regaining his level headed expression. He looked back at Ryan, well almost. Ryan noticed how their eyes didn't quite meet, Jon's looking just slightly higher.

"What?" Jon shook his head. "Ryan, I'm worried about you. Let's go have someone check you out to make sure you're fine." When he leaned forward to grab Ryan's arm, the other doctor jerked away.

"You knew," he whispered, the realization settling in. There was no questioning anymore. Ryan's best friend knew.

"Knew what?" Ryan let out a scoff. Why was he acting clueless? The secret was out. There was no point.

"Don't play dumb."

"I'm not." This was just getting him angry all over again.

"You knew about Brendon." 

"Ryan, I --"

"Stop fucking lie to me," Ryan spat and shoved his hands against Jon's chest, making the man stumble back.

"What the hell, Ry." Ryan's lips pulled down in a frown, eyebrows furrowed with anger.

"You knew and you didn't fucking tell me." Apparently betrayal was the theme for Ryan's day.

"I didn't --"

"You were treating him. You knew, asshole."

"Ryan, calm down. Let me explain." Oh, now he's not denying it. "Brendon, he --" Ryan lunged forward and pushed Jon to the ground. Jon landed with a grunt, his only reaction before Ryan climbed on top of him and gripped the front of his shirt.

"I thought you were my friend. How could you keep that from me?" Jon wanted to reply but Ryan's fist collided with his cheek before he had the chance. "You knew what he meant to me and you didn't bother to tell me." Ryan kept blindly swinging, Jon barely able to block some of them. "I trusted you!"

As quickly as Ryan started attacking Jon, he was pulled off and pinned against the wall by a security guard. Nurses, security and some other staff were now crowding the hall, breaking up the little fight. Ryan's face went pale when he saw blood coming from Jon's mouth and nose.

"Shit," he mumbled to himself. He couldn't believe that he lost control. "Jon," Ryan called out as nurses rushed to the doctor with tissues to stop the bleeding. "Jon, I --" his voice soft with remorse. 

Jon held up a hand to stop Ryan from talking anymore. The nurses pressed a damp towel against his nose. He didn't fight as they began leading him away. Jon stopped before they got too far and turned back to look at Ryan. He moved the towel from his face, revealing Ryan's damage.

"For the record, that first night you brought him from the club, he was the one who didn't want me to say anything and as his doctor, I needed to respect the wishes of my patient." Ryan bit his lip to keep it from trembling. "I tried to warn you the best I could, but my hands were tied. Don't blame this on me because you were blinded by your feelings for him." Before Ryan responded, Jon walked away.

"Jon!" Ryan moved to follow, but the guard holding him pressed him harder against the wall. Ryan pressed his forehead on the wall and squeezed his eyes shut. "Fuck," he whispered. How did everything go to shit in such a short amount of time.