Kiss It Better, Dr. Ross

Denial/Acceptance

And you know you're in too deep
'Cause you're runnin' out of time

---

"Brendon, what are we doing here?" Spencer groaned. Brendon wasn't paying much attention to him, more focused on scanning the crowded room. He held an untouched glass of whiskey in his hand. "Can we go home yet?"

"Would you quit complaining?" Spencer frowned and nudged Brendon on the arm. "Why are we here? Did your date not go well?" Brendon wanted to deny that he had the best date ever the night before, so good that the thought of how easy it was to be around Ryan scared him.

Spencer warned him and like always, he didn't listen. He'd be going on a date with the man in a couple days, too soon and too long for Brendon to wait. That feeling from such a small kiss was lingering in the back of his mind so long it was driving him crazy.

It wasn't Ryan that caused that want for more. No. Brendon could get that same feeling from any stranger at the bar. One man wasn't enough to make Brendon feel this insane. At least that's what he was trying to prove now.

~~~

"What do you keep smiling about?" Jon questioned. Ryan failed to wipe the grin off his face. "Since when do you like being on call all night?" Ryan shrugged as the two walked leisurely down the hall.

"What's the point of being grumpy when there's always something to smile about?"

"This coming the man who all through med school didn't smile once and was grumpy with anyone who came up to him." Ryan chuckled and only shrugged again. "Who are you and what did you do to Ryan?" Ryan pushed Jon playfully.

"Nothing happened to me. I just had a good time last night."

"Oh yeah? Get lucky at the bar?" Ryan scoffed, offended at the suggestion. He didn't want to go into another bar when he had a better option. "So if it wasn't that, what do you have to be so happy about?"

"I went out with someone," Ryan replied with a coy smile.

"Who?" Ryan focused on the hall in front of them, making Jon impatient. "You're either here, home or the bar and you made it clear you weren't at the bar. When would you have time to meet someone?" Jon eyed Ryan, looking like he was trying to read the other man's mind. His eyes went wide in realization.

He slowed his pace until he was stopped in the middle of the hallway. Ryan walked a few paces ahead before realizing Jon wasn't at his side. He stopped, turned and looked to the side at Jon. Ryan's smile slipped and a nervous look took over his face.

"You're not tell me," Jon trailed off. Ryan looked down at his feet for a second before facing Jon again. "It's.. It's him isn't it? That guy you brought to the ER the other night?" Ryan bit his lip to stop the smile from forming as an image of Brendon popped in his head. The little gesture was confirmation enough.

"Why would you see him when I told you not to?" Ryan frowned at Jon's harsh tone.

"I don't see why you're getting so upset about it. I'm an adult. I can date whoever I want. For the record, it was one of the best dates I've been on in a long time." Jon took a step forward, shaking his head.

"You can't see him anymore." Ryan rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Ryan, I'm serious. There are so many other people that you could go out with."

"But there's no one like him. I don't know why, but Brendon's... different. I couldn't tell you what it is, but I can't help the way I'm drawn to him." Jon gave him a worried look. Out of all the years they'd know each other, he'd never seen someone have this big of an effect on his friend. It only made him more nervous.

"For all I know Jon, he could end up being the one. Please try and be more understanding about this. I really like this guy." Jon could only give a small smile at this point. It was killing him to see the other so happy without knowing what that bastard was keeping from him.

~~~

Brendon was forcing down a gag as a random bar occupant was trying to force their tongue into his mouth. He had to jerk his head away to break the contact, leading the stranger to kiss down his neck. Brendon squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip hard enough to break skin. He was waiting, waiting for that feeling, the tingle, the anticipation.

He grunted from discomfort when the man started grinding sloppily against him. He couldn't feel anything, only disgust. Normally, he could handle a quickie in a bar bathroom, but this... this made him feel dirty. It felt so wrong now.

He could feel the stalls closing in, making the air thicker. A sob was slowly crawling up his throat, begging to be let go. His hands were shaking harder than a leaf on a tree. He needed to get out of there. His panic peaked when the man's hands reached the front of his pants.

He yelped and shoved the man off of him. It wasn't enough. Everything was still too close. He still couldn't breath. He pushed passed the man and rushed out of the bathroom. He made his way over to the bar where Spencer was waiting.

"That was quick. How wa- Woah! What happened?" Spencer grabbed Brendon's face in his hands, pulling him forward. Brendon hadn't realized he was already crying until Spencer smeared his tears with the back of his thumb. Brendon reached up and held onto Spencer's wrists. "B, what happened in there?"

"I can't do this anymore," Brendon cried softly, squeezing his eyes shut at the confession.

"So, no more one night stands?" Brendon shook his head. He couldn't handle the shame he was feeling from almost doing something more with a stranger. He wasn't able to get that same spark Ryan gave him with one innocent kiss. Now, he's driving himself crazy constantly thinking of that stupid doctor and wondering why no one could compete with him.

Spencer let Brendon go so they could take a seat. Brendon had ordered a couple drinks, downing them like water. They didn't talk, letting Brendon process everything. Spencer watched his friend, waiting for some type of explanation.

"Spencer," he whispered down to his empty glass. "I'm screwed." It took only a second for Spencer's eyes to widen in realization. Brendon hesitated before looking over at the other man. All it took was one look for Brendon to understand. He nodded with a defeated sigh and looked back down at the glass cupped between his hands. This was going to end badly, no matter what he decided to do.