Chapter 157

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"Is the car going to be okay?" I ask Jace as he stands there, taking a look at the broken-down red car that he spent so long fixing. 

I feel Miels's eyes on me but I can't look at them, I don't want to feel them on me even though I want so desperately to look into them and feel the life they blow into me.

"Yeah, it's no problem," Jace says,

"I've fixed it before, I think I can do it again. It's just the tire, no big deal." He smiles at me and I return his kind gesture.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" Miles asks me and I hesitantly look up at his face.

"Okay," I say quietly as Jace tries to find something in the trunk of the car. Miles takes my hand slowly and I can only let him, there's nothing I can do but let him touch me. 

I close my eyes slightly as he pulls me in a direction a little further from Jace and the car.

"I'm—" I stop his words because I have a question I need to spill out first.

"Why did you come here, Miles?" I look down at our fingers holding and intertwining each other.

"Because I heard you two were picking out rings, what the fuck is that?" He barks slightly and I take a small step back, letting my hand fall from his loose grip.

"Would it be that bad if I was his instead of yours?" I shake my head, holding the tears back. He runs his fingers through the dark hair that I'll miss so much.

"Yes, Madison, what the fuck? Of course, it would, I fucking love you with everything I have. it's you for me . . . it's only you for me, ever."

"No." I stop him and he stops completely before he just stands there and looks at me.

"No, because you . . . you're not ready to do the one thing that proves you do—"

"Propose?" Miles looks at me, his eyebrow raised, ready to hear 'yes' but he doesn't,

"Commit, Miles," I say and his face completely falls, he knows it's true—we both do. And there's nothing I can do to change that, he couldn't commit to Chrissy and he can't commit to me—not in the way real commitment works.

"I'm sorry Miles," I say, looking down at his veiny hands.

"But I can't be with you," I say, looking up at him but he looks down at my feet.

"Right." He blinks.

"I'm sorry," I tell him before handing him the keys to his Porsche. I press them against his chest and he takes them from my hand, giving me one last buzz of electricity—the buzz I can't get anywhere else.

"Goodbye, Miles," I say, letting a few tears fall onto my cheeks.

"Goodbye baby." His low voice says and my heart breaks into a million unfixable pieces.

"ARE YOU OKAY?" Jace asks and I nod.

"I'm fine," I tell him as he parks his car right in front of TXSU. Seeing Miles walk away from me did nothing but break me more—crushing the pieces of my heart that we're already broken.

"I'm fine," I tell Jace and as soon as the words come out of my mouth, I realize I've said that already.

"Ar you sure?" He asks, his eyes narrowing down on mine, making sure there's no lie or pain behind them but there is and Jace doesn't seem to notice.

"I'm sure," I say with a smile to which he returns. I know he has his doubts but for the most part, he believes me and for once, I'm thankful someone is believing my lie.

"You hungry?" He asks and I shake my head.

"Maybe," I mutter.

"I'll get us something." He says and I nod. We both step out of the car as we walk toward the dorms, Jace takes out the key to his dorm and as we stand in front of it, he opens the door.

"Bunk bed?" I ask with a smile as I stare at the room, on the left side there's a bunk bed and on the right there's a single bed. A red TXSU rug covers the floor and a TXSU blanket covers the closet right behind the bunk beds.

"Yeah." Jace chuckles.

"You decorated already?" I ask and he nods.

"Yeah, the guys did, I got here late." He says and I nod.

"Are you going to be fine staying here?" He asks and I nod.

"I'll be fine Jace." I smile and he gives me a smile back.

"Yeah?" He looks into my eyes with a smile.

"Is it okay if I stay here? Won't any of your friends come?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"No, there's a party tonight, they won't bother going back to their dorms." He explains and I nod.

"Okay."

"Um, Jace?" I ask before he turns around and leaves to get us food.

"Can we sleep together tonight?" I ask and he nods with a small smile playing at his lips.

"Of course we can." He says, looking down at my feet before meeting my eyes with a smile that he's so clearly hiding. 

He gives me one last smile before turning around and leaving to get us food. I close the door behind me slowly before getting into the upper bunk bed, attempting to distance myself as much as I can from the door. I look out the window, the dark and scary night that constantly reminds me of Miles. 

I stay blank for what feels like ten minutes before I finally tug my knees to my head and let the tears flow with no stop, my eyes feel as though they're burning from the warm tears falling from them. This time the pain won't go away, it's too late to turn back and this time, it really is over.

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