The Perfect Storm 2

Chapter 173

Miles finally parks his Lamborghini outside a hotel and I can't wait to get inside. I need to think and I need something stable even if it is only a hotel.

"Are you sure you want to stay here? I'm not tired, I can easily drive—" Miles begins.

"I'm sure," I tell him and his eyes give me a soft and gentle glance. He nods with a small smile as w both step out of the car and makes our way inside the hotel. A room key is handed to us and we slowly walk up the stairs to our third-floor room. 

My stomach starts to churn slightly at the memory of Launa and Miles being in the same hotel room together but I quickly gulp down the fear when I see Miles smiling at me and opening the door to our room. My head feels slightly cloudy and I have no idea how to feel about my future with Miles. Just when we're back together, we're separated. Again. Except this time, it wasn't our fault.

"Ah, shit!" Miles says, flicking his hand in the air. I quickly rush to my feet from the bed and stand by his side in what feels like half a second. I look at his bleeding hand and the small cut that he got on his palm from the door.

"What happened?" I ask him, glancing into his eyes.

"The door handle fucking bit me," Miles says and as we look into each other's eyes, we both start to laugh but not the kind of laugh you can't stop, it's more of a genuine but calm and slightly awkward laugh. I reach into my purse and pull out a small box of band-aids before taking one out of the box and gesturing for Miles to sit down. He obliges and I sit next to him down on the difficult and hard bed.

"You know . . ." He licks his lips and studies me as I carefully examine the cut.

"You'd be an amazing wife." He says and then presses his lips abruptly together as if the words were only meant to stay behind them and not walk so smoothly through them. The words hurt more than they should and I start to feel as though the air in the room has been sucked out and sealed into a bag that can't be ripped through.

"But not to you," I tell him as I finally put the band-aid on the surprisingly long cut. We both look down at our hands, not wanting to say anything and not knowing what to say.

"I don't have to leave . . ." Miles begins, sound finally rushing into the room again after being absent for too long.

"I could stay here, and go to WSU . . . NYU business isn't everything, you are." He says and I can't help but smile even though I don't know if I really believe the words.

"It's what you wanted this whole time, it just happened much faster than we expected," I tell him, my voice calm and my head heavy.

"Listen, Madison. I know I can't give you marriage or screaming, crying and snotting children . . ." I chuckle even though I feel like the sadness of it all is choking me from the inside.

"But I can give you this, and I want to give it up, for you, baby." He says and pain invites me into a familiar place.

"So that's what this is about? You not being able to marry me?" I ask him and his eyes look up at mine guiltily.

"I, uh . . ." He begins but clearly can't finish and I don't ask him to continue, because I know that I can't explain why I want to be with him even without him giving me what I want most with him.

"I'm okay with it, Miles." I finally say, I know that a bigger part of me believes it now than it did before, but it still feels like an obvious lie rolling off my tongue.

"Do you really mean that?" he asks and I shake my head.

"No, but I want to believe that I do," I tell him with a genuine smile.

"But the more time I spend without you, the more I realize that I need you more than anything, even if you can't give me kids or marriage," I say truthfully and I can see that both of us feel the same way. Miles gives me a smile back and I can't help but reach for his band-aided hand.

"I need you more than I need anything else," I tell him sincerely, as my eyes start to water. Even though Miles doesn't say the words, I can tell she feels the same. His eyes look into mine and his warm hand holds mine tighter

"I know you don't believe me, Madison, but I need you more than anything and I'll be completely open with you, whatever it takes, I'm doing it."

"Tell me about . . . Lacey," I say, needing the pain to go away. Miles's jaw clenches but as I look deeper into his eyes, he realizes the tight clench and parts his lips instead.

"I was in lust with her," Miles says and my heart skips a beat.

Miles's POV

"And for a while, I thought I was in love with her," I tell Madison honestly. I can't hide away from her anymore, the shadows aren't as inviting as they used to be; not when I have her. Herr's eyes look down at my hand as both of hers are now holding my hand loosely in her grip.

"But she . . . she chose Hayden. Until she didn't." I tell Madison and her eyes spark up into mine with curiosity, confusion but at the same time some understanding.

"W . . . what do you mean?" I ask, her head slightly leaning to the side.

"After I saw you, at Chrissy's dorm, I was starting to doubt my feelings for Launa . . ." I scoff before continuing, "I doubted them so hard." I tell her and Madison's features soften with much more understanding, the hurt seems to be completely gone from her eyes.

"But I couldn't stop. It was like an addiction, and I couldn't stop . . . not when I knew that it was the only thing that was taking my pain away; and the only safety I had." I explain myself.

"I wanted to be with her . . . I begged her to be with me because I needed what she could give me." I say, disgusted with myself. Saying all of this in front of the person I really love makes me feel even worse that I would saying this out loud to myself.

"But she didn't want to. It was the last thing she wanted; what she wanted was Hayden and she got him . . . son of a bitch was more than willing to take her, and now I'm glad he did." Madison stays silent and I'm thankful that she still offers me some compassion by holding my hand and making me feel like for once in my life, I won't be hated for my past.

"I fought it, and I was taking her out every night, offering her everything I could but she chose him and after he fucked her . . . she wanted me; she wanted me back, but it was too late, I had my eyes on you and for the first time, I felt what love was really like and the difference between lust and love had never been as clear." I spill out, pouring my heart to her like I've needed to do for too long now.

"I was so stuck on you, so infatuated, that I didn't even bother to reply to any of her texts, talk to her, nothing, and I hadn't seen her after then until we went to Crystals again," I say and all of a sudden, Madison swings herself over to me and hugs me tighter than ever, her tears falling onto my t-shirt.