Disastrous Life - BSD Fyodor Dostoevsky x Female Reader

Chapter 1 - Falling to Death

Your POV.

I Saw the sky, and it was too obvious that I was lost again. I rub my pocket and realized that, I ran out of money. I only feel like there were 2 coins in my pocket.

I can feel the hurt through my stomach. It's like I didn't fill them about 3 days. I got money from other people.

And that was disgusting.

I hate being myself. I can't even get a good job for myself, or can't even not killing people for my life.

"Well it's time to get some money." Said my mouth mumbling into the same circle of regretness.

I walk through the small streets between many homes. When I saw a guy, I stopped him. He looks confused when I just staring at his eyes.

When I close my eyes, I can feel his blood pressure through my ears. When I was done, I open my eyes and saw him soulless on the ground.

But it wasn't my lucky day. His wallet only filled with 20 bucks. I walk away and remove my appearances.

"Mom... Where are you? Why are you leave me?"

"Uh hello... Can I get some food?"

"GO AWAY! DON'T STEAL OUR FOOD! YOU STUPID BRAT!"

"I'm sorry, I was hungry. I didn't eat about 2 days."

Are you lost? Are you hungry?

"Yes. Please can you give me some food? I'll do everything that you want."

What's your name?

"My name is... [fake(F/N)(L/N)]"

I know you're lied to me.

"H-huh?"

My name is, Fukuzawa Yuukichi. Came with me, I will take you to somewhere. You'll save there.

A dream again. Every night I usually dreamed about that guy again. But I can't deny that he was a good guy. Also cleaver at the same time.

I was too dangerous to keep near someone. That's why my mom died because of me.

I keep my way when I realized that my ability could be really dangerous when I don't really know how to control it.

That guy came saves me when I was young. He gave me a chance to control my ability. But when I can control this ability, all my past haunted me and break his order to control me.

He can't control myself as his subordinate again, but my past keep haunted me again and again.

This makes me can't be around the people. Because... if I so, I will rip then apart.

I want to love my life, wondering around the world. But, this behaviour of mine, keep telling me to kill, and be a bad guy.

Are my sin can be forgiven someday by being a good person?