Northern lights

52. Respect

Rosalie Tyrell

I couldn't leave my sister without a word. I understood Jaime wanted to leave as soon as possible, but Margaery was set to wed his son Tommen any day now. While it's not a match made in love, it's one she regards as the most important one - the one that shall make her the queen. 

Managing a small smile, I take her hand in mine. "Will you forgive me?" I held my breath as she avoided my gaze, contemplating her answer and I know she's not happy with me, but she can't possibly hate me for it.

"Where will you go?" Margaery asks, her hand squeezing mine. 

"Jaime won't say. It's supposed to be a wedding gift", I lie, something I'm not used to doing. I'm not proud of it, but a little lie is needed to protect her. She doesn't know the truth about Jaime and I, she doesn't know the truth about Jaime and Cersei. As far as I'm concerned, no one will ever know. 

Nodding, she presses her lips together before looking straight into my eyes. Her blue eyes light up, as gentle as the skies above on a sunny spring day. I always envied those eyes, the beauty they bestowed upon her. Without them, she'd be as average as I am. She'd be plainer, but she's not. She's the pretty sister among the two of us. While Margaery and Loras have been blessed with blue eyes, I was cursed to a mundane brown color most men would compare to earth, the dirt beneath their feet. Her eyes always bore comparison to the sky, to the ocean, to the most beautiful and rarest rose of all.

"You've been to one of my three weddings. I say it's more than I've attended for you", Margaery smiles softly and I exhale loudly in relief. "You found a proper match and I couldn't be happier for you."

Returning her smile, I glance to the door where I know Jaime's pacing. "Don't underestimate Cersei", I speak in a hushed tone, "She hates us and if it's up to her, you'd never marry her son. Keep both eyes open."

Lips parting, Margaery nods. "I'll miss you."

Sniffling, I wrap my arms around her. "Don't worry. I'll be back to annoy you in no time."

Parting, we both exhale loudly as we smile widely. I head for the door, wondering if I should look back. Holding my breath, I glance at her over my shoulder and find her staring already. 

"I love you."

Nodding, she replies, "And I you."

Opening the door, I step through with a shaky breath passing my lips. Leaving didn't feel as a good idea anymore. A part of me was screaming to stay, to protect my sister and keep Cersei away from her, but Jaime leaving on his own felt unsettling as well. Somehow, I was damned if I go and damned if I stay. Neither gave me peace.

"Are you ready?" Jaime holds out my sword for me to take, the hilt turned to me. 

Swallowing thickly, I keep my gaze on him as I reach for the sword. Once in my hand, I feel slight relief. It's been so long since I held a sword with a purpose. Too long. Once upon a time, when Robb Stark had been by my side, I never spent a day without a sword in hand. Loras and Robb are the reason why I learned to wield this sword, they are why I know how to protect myself. I will forever be grateful to them.

"Lead the way", I muster a meek smile, the one no one but Robb could truly see through. He could always tell it was a mask meant to hide the turmoil beneath. No one knows me the way he did. Robb understood me, nurtured the warrior inside and sought my council. He was my equal, a partner I could have only dreamed of. 

I will never reconcile how cruel are the gods for taking him from me.

Jon Snow - Castle Black