Northern lights

87. Warfare

With the night came the quiet, bringing about a sense of dread in Rosalie's heart. For in the darkness, her instincts seemed to grow too strong for her to ignore. She did not know if it's the magic she tapped into consciously or simply her common sense kicking in, but sleep evaded her.

Every time she closed her eyes, she'd see the dragon as it sunk below surface. She'd find herself in the freezing lake, screaming for help as the cold numbed any pain she felt before. The surrounding darkness of the icy water terrified her, but she couldn't find strength to fight anymore. She was drowning and as the inevitable was impossible to escape, Rosalie made her peace with it. 

Until a flash of icy blue eyes stared at her menacingly in the darkness brought a scream to life and she'd wake covered in sweat. 

If anyone asked what her favorite color was, Rosalie would confidently say icy blue. It reminded her of Robb, of the warmth his eyes held, of the fire and will to fight, but now? The color incites fear, a sense of impending doom and she can't help herself but looking into Robb's eyes has become a trigger. 

For days, Rosalie avoided the one her heart most yearned to be with. She would retreat in the confines of her own room, looking at the falling snow with unparalleled concern for the future. She couldn't speak of it to Robb for he'd want to know how she knows of what's yet to come, but his experience with magic might overcome the love he feels for her. 

What if he ends up leaving again?

Rosalie wants to believe she'd be strong enough to continue on her own, but a part of her refuses to. She's lost so much already, must she risk losing him too?

If Robb leaves and Jon does too, what is she left with? An empty kingdom to rebuild with no one by her side but the corpses of her once loyal servants? Jaime Lannister? Could she ever truly let the past be past?

Too many thoughts filled her mind at once, overwhelming her. 

She closes her eyes and intertwines her fingers, trying to comfort herself. Maybe one day she'll be able to look back and understand the cause of all this pain, of the never ending losses she had to suffer and if she can just stop running scared, one day she might surrender herself fully to one who would see her - all of her - and he won't fear her or look at her in disgust. He'd think of her as a dream come alive, he'd end these lonely nights and for once, she will allow someone in without doubts clouding her judgement.  

A knock on her door creases her eyebrows, but she remains silent as she listens to the repeated knocking with a lump in her throat. Sniffling quietly, she allows her bottom lip to quiver, relaxing her jaw as she lets out a shaky breath. 

"Little flower, please let me in." Robb's soft tone further plays her heartstrings, making her cover her mouth to stifle a desperate sob. "I do not understand what I've done for you to ice me out, but I cannot fix it if you do not speak to me."

Glancing at the door over her shoulder, Rosalie swallows thickly. She's causing hurt, the kind she never wished to cause and yet she remains quiet as Robb pleads.

"Love, please", he knocks again and despite thought inside her head screaming in unison to let him go, Rosalie finds herself rushing to the door. 

Looking for peace in solitude isn't helping her as she hoped, she's tormented worse in this quietness she lost herself in. Jon had come knocking a few times, even Tormund came to the door to tell her how badass he believes her to be, but Robb's been knocking every single day so many times that Rosalie believed he'd have cracked knuckles by now. 

As she reaches for the handle, she holds her breath. She can hear Robb's labored breaths, the hope in each every shallow inhale and the uncertainty and fear in each and every exhale.