HIS SALVATION

28

~CLAIR~

After spending almost a whole day shopping, going to the SPA and doing other things that Sam wanted, we went back home and parted ways.

I was sitting on the large couch at the backyard pooling staring at the setting sun. Matteo wasn't back from his business conferences yet. I sighed as restes my head on the headrest of the couch.

Something struck in my heart as I realized something. There was one question I was trying to avoid in my marriage.

Would we ever fall in love?

I didn't actually know what it felt like to love someone or to fall in love. Back in high school, I had series of crushes but I never acknowledged them. Boys at my college were hot but I never had eyes for them. I never really fancied dating because I didn't want to break my heart.

But now, I really needed true love.

I sighed as I thought about Matteo. It's been kind of weird for me to have this warm fuzzy feeling whenever he looked at me.

When he complements me, my heart soars high and my brain goes off.

I probably sound like a love struck high school girl.

"What are you thinking about?", I raised my head to see Martha standing in front of me with a mug in my hand. "Hot chocolate?", she offered me the mug. "Thank you", I said as collected it. She sat beside me on the couch. "Matteo?", she asked me and I nodded.

"Yeah", I breathed.

"What's the matter?", she asked. "I don't just understand my feelings for him. I just don't get what it feels like to love someone", I told her. She smiled and shook her head.

"What do you feel whenever you're with him?", she asked. I ran my hand through my hair. "I feel warm, fuzzy and happy whenever he talks to me. I love it whenever he touches me even though it's just my hand. I just don't understand", I said. She smiled and chuckled again.

"It's the feeling of love, genuine love", she said. "But he'll never love me back, he made it sure that this will be a loveless marriage", I told her.

"If I remember correctly, he said that at the beginning of your marriage. Your children will need love from both sides and you all will share the love. Matteo may be stupid but he'll fall in love with you no matter what. What's there not to like?", she told me. I smiled at her comforting words and hug her.

"But how will I tell him?", I asked her. "Darling, you can tell him anytime. But don't wait till the last minute when another woman has snatched his heart", she told me and stood up.

"Remember that love has different definition and meanings. It has different characteristics too. I'll be making dinner in the kitchen", she said before walking away. I watched her retreating figure until it disappeared into the house.

Turning my attention back to the now dark sky, I wrapped my hands around myself. The evening breeze was chilly but soothing making me enjoy the evening.

My mom always talked about how wonderful it was to sit outside in the evening with dad and talk about things. I smiled as I remember my past memories.

FLASHBACK

'"Clair, don't get your hair dirty!", Taylor shrieked as I jumped into the puddle. My ten year old sister glared at me as some water splashed on her gray skirt. "Leave Clair alone, she's just a baby", Aiden chuckled as he walked over to me and dragged me away from the puddle.

"I'm not a baby, I'm seven", I pouted and he pinched my cheeks. Taylor followed us behind until we reached the front yard where mom and dad were sitting.

Mom's head was resting on dad's shoulder while they held hands talking. Wanting to be part of the cuddle part, I broke free from Aiden's grip and ran towards them. "Daddy!", I squealed as I ran to my dad. They laughed as they caught me. "Hey, flower", he ruffled my head and I grinned'

I smiled as I remember that day. "Clair?", I turned my head to the side to see Matteo walking towards me. I stood up and waved at him with a smile. "Welcome back", I said as I walked towards him.

He looked tired and stressed but still looked beautiful. My heart warmed as he flashed me a tired smile. "Thanks. Martha told me that you were here", he said. "Are you hungry?", I asked him. "That's of you'll eat with me", he teased and I smiled.

"If you say so", I said and followed him into the house.

֍

'"Clarissa, you know I don't like my toys being damaged except it's by me", Joker said as he walked towards me. I gulped as I took a step back. He laughs loudly causing me to tremble and fall backwards.

"You can't stay away from me, Clarissa. You just can't", he grabbed my hair and yanked me up making me yelp in pain. Little sobs escaped my mouth as he slid a blade across my left cheek.

"I heard your family's looking for you", he whispered and I whimpered. "Well, if they find you and take you home I'll still get you. That's how the game works", he raised my hair up and I held my head trying prevent anThat's how the game works", he raised my hair up and I held my head trying prevent any damage to my scalp.

"You run, I find you and you suffer", he flung me across the room and I hit the wall dropping to the floor with a loud thud. He laughed loudly as I slowly lost consciousness.'

Jolting awake, I was panting hard. "It's just a dream, it's just a dream", I tried telling myself that but it wasn't doing anything to calm me down at all. It wasn't just a dream. It was more like a memory.

I pulled off the covers and stood up from my bed. I headed for the bathroom and got to the sink. Splashing some cold water on my face didn't shake the terrible feeling I had in me.

I walked out of the bathroom and check the time on my wall clock. 3:20am was showing neon bright on it. There's no way I'm going back to sleep. I walked out of my room and headed for the kitchen. Grabbing a bottle of cold water from the fridge, I poured it's content in a glass cup and gulped it down.

My eyes burned as I remembered the dream.

'You run, I find you and you suffer.'

My heart clenched as my eyes burned. He'll find me, he surely will. I just have to admit the bitter truth. I placed my hand on my still flat stomach. What if he finds me, he'll torture me and it may affect my baby.

"Clair?", I raised up my head. Matteo was standing by the door shirtless. "Why are you crying?", he asked. I touch my wet cheeks and sniffled, I didn't even know I was crying. "I just.....", I tried to say what was wrong. "Talk to me", he walked towards me and knelt in front of me.

"He'll find me, he'll surely find me and nothing can stop him", I told him. "Clair, stop it. Just stop it already. I know there's something you need to tell me about this, so tell me. Tell me how he hurt you, just fucking tell me already!", he said frustrated as he stood up and ran his hand through his hair.

I looked away and exhaled. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "Clair", he called. "I'll tell you", I mumbled. I sniffled and wiped my eyes, "I was walking back from high school with Sam. It was my birthday so we wanted to get matching bracelets".

My throat tightened, "I didn't even remember what happened when we walked into the store. I felt a sting on my neck and everything went black. I woke in a very dark room, tied to a metal chair and gagged. A large man came in; he called himself Joker, wearing a mask that covered his face and always laughing maniacally. I got electrocuted, whipped, injured and other things that a sixteen year old girl should have never experienced".

His features softened and he closed the distance between us, pulling me into a warm hug. "I'm sorry, Clair. I promise to protect you", he said. I sniffled and nodded.