Inspired by Bitchyass_tacos
Florida smiled at the chaos he caused; various states were fighting, others were looking exasperated by whatever weird Floridian thing Florida had in his state, and overall the meeting went from boring to fun in under a minute. Florida grinned as he looked around the various states, eyes scanning over his partners in the chaos. Louisiana, usually his partner in crime, was taking big gulps of his cup trying to drown out the chaos, Texas was getting into it with Oklahoma and clutching his fists so hard the veins were popping out, California and DC were in an argument both looking exhausted and sleep deprived, and New York was burying himself in his coat, trying to ignore everything around him.
His smile fell.
"You did this." A small voice in his head scolded watching Texas draw back ready to punch Oklahoma and being held back by Mississippi. "You're making them suffer with your chaos."
"That's not true!" Florida hissed back as DC ran a hand down his face, having only got three hours of sleep last night. "They love the chaos!"
"Does it look like they're enjoying it?" The voice asked as Louisiana took off his hat, rubbing his forehead and sighing. A sinking feeling filled Florida's chest.
"Look at what you caused, why are your partners even with you? All you do is cause them suffering." The voice continued as New York growled at something Massachusetts said.
"They love me." Florida said desperately trying to come up with other reasons why his partners were so exasperated; DC only got three hours of sleep, California spent most of the morning arguing with right-wingers online, Texas's football team lost, Louisiana was slightly hungover, and New York was New York. It wasn't because of him.
"It is." The voice interrupted and Florida looked down, tears burning in his eyes. It was right, all Florida did was cause his partners pain. Why couldn't he get through one meeting without causing a headache for everyone involved? Why couldn't he just be normal?
Florida sunk back in his chair as DC quickly called for order, the meeting room silenced once more. He didn't raise his eyes as the fed quickly turned the meeting back around, and didn't say anything as everyone went back to serious business.
"Sha, you okay?" Louisiana whispered concernedly. Florida looked up at Louisiana and smiled, trying to hide his tears.
"I'm fine." Florida said softly squeezing Louisiana's hand.
"I'm just the cause of all your stress."
"There are people starving, there's people losing jobs, why aren't you helping more?"
"FUCKS SAKE I'M TRYING." DC screamed already overwhelmed and it was only nine o'clock. The politician berating DC backed up at his outburst, but stood his ground.
"Are you? Because all I see is you constantly running back and forth to Orlando to be with those states...."
"I work when I'm in Orlando, do you not know that or only chose to believe rumors?" DC asked.
"You have five partners, you're telling me you can get away from work with them?" The politician asked.
"You asshole--"
"Alright I think we're done." IDC announced quickly cutting between her brother and the politician. "Mike we'll get those papers on your desk by two-thirty."
"Yeah if a certain someone doesn't run away to his boyfriends by then." The politician muttered walking away. DC threw a paper at him as he walked away, then slumped back in his chair.
"Well that could've gone better." Gov muttered closing his binder.
"Just ignore him DeeDee, you know Mike's an asshole." IDC pointed out. DC just looked up at the ceiling.
"I'm not doing enough." DC whispered.
"You're doing plenty DC." Gov pointed out. "You're putting enough pressure on yourself."
"There are people dying, there's.....kids are going hungry....why am I not doing more?" DC asked, feeling his chest tighten.
"That's not on you, that's local politicians." IDC pointed out.
"If you solved every problem you'd be dead, you don't need more stress." Gov added. He jumped up and grabbed his coffee mug.
"I'll go get you some more coffee, try to relax." Gov begged before leaving the office. IDC looked worried at her brother who was beginning to grab his hair in worry.
"Stop that." IDC ordered grabbing his hands. "You're doing your best! I know you want to help, but you can't help everyone."
"I need to!" DC argued.
"You're also human!" IDC pointed out.
"I-why aren't I working more to help?" DC yelled.
"Because ultimately we don't make the policies or decisions, we're the desk jockeys!" IDC argued.
"FUCKS SAKE IDC I'M THE FUCKING GOVERMENT." DC screamed tears burning in his eyes. He collapsed in a fit of tears against his sister, who immediately grabbed and held him tight. He let out tiny wails and whimpers as IDC tried to calm him down, rubbing his back and whispering soothing words.
Why wasn't he doing more? His citizens were suffering, people were dying, he was the government! Wasn't he born for this?
It's not like California didn't pretend he didn't hear the whispers.
"God can you imagine being with him? What a nightmare!" A state would whisper to their friend to laughter.
"Imagine hearing that all day, then going to bed with him at night." Another would add.
"I bet he's good in bed though."
"Probably the only reason they keep him around!"
California tried to ignore it, tried to ignore the pit in his stomach every time he heard the whispers, the snickers, the pity looks his partners got when they saw him with them. Everyone was in agreement;
They could do so much better.
But why? Because California cared about justice? Because California cared for people who were marginalized or beaten down by society? They were the annoying ones, they only wanted status quo, he wanted real change.
Which is why he bugged DC about the president's policies, which is why he bothered Texas, Louisiana, and Florida, it's why he got into fiery debates with New York. He wanted to push his boyfriend's to be better.
And yet.
California could see the sympathetic looks the states gave his partners whenever he went on one of his rants, the tuts, one time he even saw Arizona pat Florida's hand when California went off on him about his new anti-protest law. To them, his partners were with him out of pity, and any second now they'd all dump him and find someone better.
It wasn't a great feeling. California already felt unwanted because both his dads left in unceremonious fashion (for god's sake at least they told the others they had they were leaving) and now he was feeling unwanted in his own relationship. He didn't want to be a bother, he didn't want to ask, he could just quietly slip in the background and try to keep his urges of speaking up down, in fear that his partners would leave him any day now.
They all could do much better than him anyway.
Sequel where it shows they are wanted tho.....
