Aesthete

Chapter 48 - Jirou

Being in love with Kyoka is so difficult.

How would I know if she even felt the same way? What if I was hoping on nothing, searching for loose strands in a cloth that isn't cut the way I longed for it to be? What if she wasn't attracted to girls? What if she was and didn't want to pursue anything with me? What if she was in love with someone way prettier and stronger and kinder and cooler?

I was on the couch thinking of that, the idea of Jirou with anyone else made my nose wrinkle.

I didn't even know how I felt towards her until Mina pointed it out so blatantly that I couldn't deny it. I wasn't surprised at the fact that I liked girls, it was obvious enough that my sexuality or preference would be anyone I simply connected with, whether they were a boy, girl, or neither didn't faze me in the slightest.

"Do you think Jirou is pretty?" Mina asked, toying with my hair to make a braid that was extremely short, the process was difficult but the girl was only interested in being near me because that's what best friends usually did.

Jirou would be coming to sleepover later, but until then, it was only Mina and I inciting pointless conversations to fill the void.

"Obviously."

Mina kept tugging the brown strands, "I notice you guys spend an awful lot of time together, you even have your own sleepovers without us!" Her whiny voice signaled that she wasn't hurt, only suspicious but I couldn't comprehend why.

"Well, we just get along really well, Mina. Like you and I, but you know you're a tiny bit closer to Hagakure."

"True. Hey, Flo, do you like girls?"

I froze, gripping my hands nervously at the question. I didn't see anything wrong with finding girls attractive, but I knew not everyone had that mentality. Some would even blame my way of being for lack of religious devotion, but I knew better. Then again, I wasn't shameful in who I was, if I liked girls, then so be it.

"Yeah. I mean, I could be with a girl the way I would with a guy. But I don't like anyone." My pitch shifted in the slightest but it was enough for Mina to catch on.

"Florence, you know nobody in 1-A would ever judge you. If they did, Deku, Uraraka, and I would totally kick their asses." Her words meant a lot to me, I bit back the smile I had even if she couldn't see.

"Thanks, Mina. I'm glad you made me become your friend the first day of school 'cause I was too shy."

"Mhm! So, if you won't open up to me about your crush on Jirou, I'll bring in Aoyama. He's the expert in love."

"Huh?!" I squeaked out, feeling the heat creep up on my neck. I pulled away, whipping my head to face her as I stared in shock.

"Come on, it's so obvious, you guys stare at each other and hold hands and cuddle and compliment each other and blush and act like idiots! Just date already!" Mina gripped my hands, giving me a wide grin on her pink skin.

I frowned, letting it sink in. It made sense, actually liking Jirou had been the answer I was searching for with my behavior without even realizing it. I wondered why my heart beat so fast at times, why my stomach would grow tense and my palms sweaty as I tried to comprehend the warm feeling that surged all over my chest.

I was... it was more than liking. While Mina kept insisting for me to admit my feelings, all I saw was her. Her smile, her eyes, her eyelashes, the blush, the lips, the short, dark-purple hair that I'd praise constantly, the way her hand felt whenever she held mine in instinct, laying next to her when we would have her playlist on repeat.