resist the siren's call

38

"Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity."

It was my last day on the ship.

I sat on the edge of the railing, like the day of the storm. There was something about being on the edge of falling in the water.

The waves were delightful to watch from above as they splashed against the side of the ship. It's something you wouldn't notice from beneath.

Before sailing, I'd never liked peace. Despite what I'd told Caspian this morning, life beneath the sea was not peaceful or quiet how life on land was.

On land you had to take time to find quiet and a reserve from everything that would go on. But in the sea, you were always reserved and detached from others.

There were just more people here.

For the first time, I felt anxious to go back. I knew when I did I'd be interrogated.

When they find out I hadn't killed Caspian, they'd be upset with me.

I'd have to get back into the rhythm of the sea.

It's whole different world.

I closed my eyes and breathed in a gust of wind before I lifted my arms up, the only thing stabilizing me being my legs.

I felt someone come up behind me before a hand was gently placed on my exposed upper back, "If you're not careful, you might fall." Caspian whispered into my ear.

I kept my eyes closed and smiled, "If I fall into the water, I will live, and if I fall onto the deck, the most I'll get is a bruise."

"Well I'm in charge of making sure you don't get injured at all, so even a bruise is too much." He brushed my hair behind my ear.

I gripped the railing and looked over into his eyes, "Happy?"

He smiled gently, "Very."

"Hey Astrid!"

I held eye contact with Caspian, "What do you need Olly?"

Olly came a little closer to us, "Well, it bein' the night before you leave and all, the crew thought it'd be a good idea to throw a little goodbye party before you left, if you'd want."

I turned backwards to face Olly, "That's very kind Olly." I swung my legs over the railing, stepping back onto the deck, "Are you coming Caspian?"

He smiled and nodded, "I'm sure it will be lovely."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

I was holding a glass of ale in my right hand, and  in my left I was in an arm battle with a crewmate from Egypt. His name was Adofo.

I was beating him easily, somehow, and drinking my ale casually as he struggled.

After Adofo's hand touched the table, signifying I won, Olly asked, "How are you so strong?" Before he sat across from me for his turn to try and best me.

"I've spent my entire life overpowering men, and you're asking me how I can best you in a battle of who has the strongest right arm?" I smiled into the glass of ale, finishing it off, before I set it down and held up my arm.

He grabbed it, and in just a few short minutes the battle was over, with me reigning champion.

I stood, "Alright men, you all have your pride battles. I'm going for a walk if you need to find me."

I walked out the door as Adofo challenged Phillip to an arm battle.

The first thing I saw when I came to the open air was the bright moon. It was nearly full.

I breathed in the salty night air and rubbed my arms in a feeble protection against the cool air.

I felt a certain pull to the water, so I stripped off the silver dress I'd been wearing, exposing my swim two piece.

I quickly climbed over the railing and dove straight into the dark waters, seeking refuge from the breeze.

I couldn't help but feel torn between the surface and the water, and instead of staying beneath the waves, I swam to the top to float on them.

I was feeling claustrophobic and contained in the ocean, whereas before I went to land I'd never felt this way.

I took in a deep breath as I float on the surface.

I breathed in through my nose, sending calming joy through my body as I lay in the silence of the night.

Distant knocks on wood were heard before silence, and then a splash next to me.

I sighed and lifted myself up vertically in the water to greet the person who joined me.

When Caspian surfaced, a gentle smile rested on my face, "You weren't enjoying the party?"

He reciprocated the smile, "Less since you left."

"I just left."

"It was noticeable."

I huffed, "What are you doing here?"

His smile grew, "It's your last night here, why wouldn't I want to spend as much time as possible with you?"

My smile returned, "Fine. But if you're going to be here, you're going to be quiet."

I leaned back to float in the water, laying almost flat on the surface. I closed my eyes to listen to the quiet from before, but now mixed with Caspian's slight movements and breathing.

It was a few minutes of floating before I heard the water move a noticeable amount, then I felt Caspian's warm hand touch my shoulder before he whispered, "How often do you do this?"

I smiled and opened my eyes to look at him, "Whenever I want to."

He smiled down at me. His blue eyes reflected the light bouncing off the water, making them look deeper and almost like magic.

His hand moved around the back of my shoulder to the front, where he pulled my so I was vertical in the water again, nearly parallel to him.

"What's so great about the ocean to you?" He started deeply into my eyes.

He was getting serious, so I tried to lighten the mood, "The way you're barely in it." I smiled playfully at him.

He gave a small smile, "I'm serious, what makes the ocean better than the land?"

I leaned close and whispered, "Life isn't complicated under water." My lighthearted tone drifted away, a far away tone replacing it, "There are less things to worry about down there."

Caspian's eyes stayed on mine as I looked away to the moon behind him. "If you wanted to stay, I could make sure you'd never have anything to worry about."

I gave a small, sad, smile, "The things that worry me about life above land are things you couldn't fix with your position."

Caspian leaned down, nearly brushing my nose, "But is it worth anything that I would try?"